Her story

To mark International Women’s Day, five residents share their very different experiences of living in the UAE and discuss their aspirations.

Lulu Almana, a landscape architect in Abu Dhabi. Mona Al-Marzooqi / The National

Bonnie Milne

Professor at the Higher Colleges of Technology, Ras Al Khaimah

We came here in 1998 for the first time. I had been a consultant for a number of years and I had done a bit of post-secondary teaching and I was really afraid that I couldn’t fit in one place for any time. Because this place is always changing, it makes it a lot easier.

We have an organisation that helps women and children and I’ve been involved in that since 1998. I think it’s important to do things where you are. I don’t try to live in two worlds, I try to live in this world while I’m here and that’s where my focus is.

My mom didn’t have as many opportunities as I had and I think that, once she had her children, she couldn’t really move, either geographically or in her career. I haven’t felt old yet. There’s always been opportunity and doors haven’t been closed, unless I wanted them closed. I had one child young, and I had a second child quite young, and I was able to go back and complete my education. And that’s a huge change.

Now there are so many differences in the world that gender kind of slips by. We’re more accepting of everything. We’re more accepting of different cultures, we’re more accepting of different genders, we’re more accepting of people who think differently or act differently. I think it may be a dying issue.

When I was younger, gender was pretty important. I remember the first time I got hired in a post-secondary institute, I got hired because I was a woman. I was told that the men needed a woman in their lives. For some reason, the institute felt like it should have a woman teaching. It was just a misunderstanding of what gender meant.

You know, it wasn’t the men in the classroom who were concerned at all about my gender, it was the other instructors. What they saw was gender. They didn’t see much else. Like, when I was making a phone call at work, they would say, “Oh, are you talking to your husband?”.

Why would I talk to my husband at work? I talk to him at home.

I do consider myself really fortunate, and I think part of being fortunate is being here. I feel that heightened awareness of living in another culture, of always paying attention. I’m really fortunate in my job. I get paid to learn, and that’s really the best job in the world.

I’ve watched the younger generation guard their time. They don’t give it away to a workplace for free. They are very, very careful about taking their private time, taking their family time, taking their time to have fun. I think it’s critical so we can build a civil society. We need to be in our communities more and the only way we can be in our communities more is to be at our work less. I think the Emiratis have that right.

* Interview by Anna Zacharias

Shadiah Al Jabery

Educator and writer, Sharjah

I am a writer, a board member of the Jumeira Islamic Learning Center in Dubai and the founder of Al Hemam school. “Al Hemam” means “perseverance”.

I have lived in the UAE my whole life. [It is] a country that is truly full of opportunities, especially for women. In other Arab countries, women are not given chances to develop and grow the way we do here in the UAE.

I love walking along the Sharjah Corniche. I like the heritage areas and the old souqs. I love the parks of the UAE, all of them beautiful in their own way.

When my parents were children, there were no schools. They didn’t go to school. They went to the mutawa, a Quran teacher, who served as the only source of education. Life was so simple.

This was the case for most of the older generation in the region. Unlike my mother, who had to struggle and lived a very harsh life, I have lived a privileged life, where everything was accessible.

Even though my mother was not educated, she was adamant [that] all her children, all 11 of us, got an education and followed their dreams. Our parents encouraged us to reach for the stars.

One of the greatest struggles for our parents is dealing with constant changes and the isolation of families. Before, the ties were stronger than now. One of the things they miss the most is the closeness of all the families and our friends. Now we live in three different emirates. The scattering of the family today is hard on us.

I am very fortunate; I am blessed with a loving family and friends. I am happy with what I have achieved so far in my career as a writer and an educator.

I am also very proud of being a Muslim, and believe it is a peaceful, beautiful religion, which is the motivator for me to strive to be a better person.

It is what makes me a good person, and reminds us to become better human beings. I like to teach people about Islam through cultural and religious events at the Islamic centre and through my conduct every day.

Here in the UAE, you don’t feel any discrimination based on your gender. The Government and culture encourages women to excel. One of the things I really appreciate here is the safety. As a woman, I can walk around at any time of the day and night without fearing for my safety.

My dream is I want to open a bigger school that would work with problematic children and teenagers who drop out of conventional schools. The slogan in my life: “Have fun and make the most of wherever I am.”

* Interview by Rym Ghazal

Mariam

Maid and cleaner, Dubai

When I arrived in the UAE four years ago, it was for work. My home village in Ethiopia is very poor, and I knew I had to leave if I was to earn enough money to look after my family.

At first I worked at a hotel cleaning the rooms, but I left when I was asked to be the maid for a British family. They take care of me now, and I live with them in a nice apartment near Jumeirah Beach. My room is small, but that doesn’t matter to me because I feel [like a] part of the family.

At home, my mother is suffering with her health and the money I send to her every month makes a big difference to her life and to my sisters, too. It isn’t much, but I work for some private customers in my spare time and some of them are very generous, giving me tips on top of my hourly wage. This helps me in Dubai because everything is so expensive. I don’t go out with friends or buy new clothes, I just like to have some spare money in case I need it.

Living in the UAE has been good for me. One of the things that caused me hardship in Ethiopia was my husband, who took my daughter and left to go and live in America. I don’t know why he did this and I have not seen Rohama, my daughter, for five years. It breaks my heart, but I hope that when she is old enough, she will be able to see me again. I did nothing wrong. But here I can stay busy and help my family. And I feel safe here, too.

I am 35 years old and would like to marry again, if I meet the right man – someone who is able to take care of me and treat me well. My daughter is now 9 years old and, one day, I hope she will come back to live with me, so my husband would need to understand that and be OK with it. But I know her life in America with her father will still be better than in our home country, and there are lots of people who are in worse situations than me. I know from a friend who hears from her father that she is doing well and is at a good school.

She would love it in Dubai, too, so I pray to God that some day I can find and bring her here to live. I will stay here as long as I can – I don’t want to leave.

* Interview by Kevin Hackett

Lulu Almana

Landscape architect, Abu Dhabi

I was born in Al Khobar, in the eastern province of Saudi Arabia. I was the first of my siblings to leave Saudi to study, but both of my parents studied in America – my father studied chemical engineering and my mother is a computer whiz – and then both of my younger siblings went to America to study and now even my older sister is there.

I did my undergraduate degree at the American University of Sharjah. It was an interesting time in my life. You’re not entirely sure why you make certain decisions and yet those are the decisions that set you on your path. It was a chance to study abroad while allowing me to stay close to my family. It was the best of both worlds, because after that, I took a further step by going to America to study formy master’s degree.

Since I’ve been back in the UAE, I am often asked why I don’t cover my hair. People hear my accent and stop me in the elevator. They say, “You’re Saudi? But why aren’t you covered?” Recently, a lady refused to believe I was Saudi and wanted to make me prove that I was. That was ridiculous to me. I get the first reaction, you can have that, but to then insist that I prove myself? That shows a lack of understanding or even interest in understanding what people from Saudi are actually like.

As a woman and as a designer, I have an issue with many of the public spaces I have experienced in Arab cities. Those are the cities I’m most familiar with. I feel there are many more issues that women have to face in them than men – safety and security, not wanting to walk alone, not feeling comfortable spending any amount of time in a public space, having to worry about people staring at you, bothering you and following you. As a designer I feel a responsibility that public space becomes a place that women can enjoy and that our open spaces are inviting and comfortable and that they can be there without worrying or fearing anything just because they are women.

It depends sometimes upon the day and what I’m doing, but I am hopeful person, I am optimistic and I do look to the future. One of the things I really hope for is that a day will come when we don’t have to celebrate International Women’s Day. It’s important now that we celebrate it, because women face so many challenges, but I hope a day comes when the idea becomes unusual, when it’s no longer necessary.

* Interview by Nick Leech

Dr Sarda Shrinivas

Dental surgeon, Abu Dhabi

After spending 10 years studying dentistry in Mumbai, I decided to explore other parts of the world. I arrived from India in 1987 and, since setting foot on this blessed land, I felt safe and secure. I worked in the General Medical Centre for 11 years, then established Noora Medical along with other people in 1999. I am passionate about my career because I get to treat more than 200 nationalities. I like learning about different cultures and people – it is a subject that fascinates me to no end. The more we get to learn about each other, the better we communicate. My career opens a door to broaden my perspective on the world and what it has to offer.

My mother is a homemaker. I don’t particularly enjoy doing house chores. I am more of an outgoing person. Many men take their wives for granted. In reality, men should stop to figure out what it would cost them if they lost their wives and were forced to hire a cleaner, a housekeeper and a cook. Wives save all this expense by doing all such work themselves, which is a huge contribution.

I love sending positive vibes to everyone because “life also has an expiry date”. Every time I go to a supermarket and read the expiry date, I think to myself: “Why do many forget that they also have a deadline?”. Some people lead a gloomy life and worry unnecessarily about tomorrow. Doctors should have a distinct personality, so that they lift the spirit of their patient. I am an optimistic person. Today, I am 55 and l hope to continuously give back to this community. The maximum holiday I get is two weeks, but I am not bothered by that because I love my patients.

I am a proud mother of a son and daughter. Even though I love my profession, I had to sacrifice a few things. First of all, I couldn’t enjoy the pleasure of seeing my children grow; if only time was reversible.

My daughter is happily married and my son is studying engineering in Canada. My children are born and bred here, and they adore this place. My son doesn’t know much about his motherland. When people ask him where he is from, he says from the UAE. When I was in Canada last time, we repeatedly discussed the convenient life of the UAE. Everything is around the corner, from grocery stores to transportation. In Canada, if you forget to buy one item, you have to commute a few miles.

Like every mother, I wish nothing but happiness for my children. I want them to possess a great moral character and succeed in all of their affairs.

* Interview by Asmaa Al Hameli