Be careful what you wish for. The life of an A-list celebrity is, surely, one of untold riches. Of fast cars, beautiful mansions and, most of all, masses of cold, hard cash. Sure, there are some downsides: lies in the newspapers about your love life and being snapped by the paparazzi in your dressing gown, but still - a small price to pay, surely?
Actually, the price celebrities pay to keep themselves in the manner to which they've become accustomed isn't small at all. It is massive - and increasingly they're struggling to keep the debt collector from the door.
Nowhere has this been more evident than in the case of "poor" Nicolas Cage. The Oscar-winning actor's affairs have come to light after he filed a lawsuit against his former business manager for a staggering US$20 million (Dh74m). Cage said Samuel Levin had "lined his pockets with several million dollars in business management fees while sending [Cage] down the path to financial ruin".
Levin has filed a counter-complaint demanding payment for work on Cage's tax returns - and he couldn't resist detailing his former paymaster's lifestyle. It is a brilliant quote: "Levin advised Coppola [Cage's real name] against buying a Gulfstream jet, against buying and owning a flotilla of yachts, against buying and owning a squadron of Rolls-Royces, against buying millions of dollars in jewellery and art." And presumably, the two castles and 15 mansions he also owns.
So Cage might be in the exclusive Oscar-winner's club, but he could soon be in a slightly more undesirable grouping: the cabal of bankrupt celebrities. And perhaps it runs in the family. Certainly he should have heeded the warning signs from his uncle, Francis Ford Coppola. The Godfather director had to file a $12m bond to protect his home and estate in 1990 after his lawyers applied for his bankruptcy. That wasn't the first time Coppola had been on the verge of financial ruin, but it was at least understandable: the cashflow problems came from films that had bombed rather than a lavish lifestyle.
But for completely ridiculous celebrity spending, look no further than Mike Tyson. You might have thought a boxer who earned an estimated $400m at the peak of his powers would have stashed at least some of it away. It might be something to do with those repeated blows to the head, but he spent $1.6m on a watch, somehow got through more than $200,000 on mobile phones and pagers (happily, this was before the advent of the iPhone, or he might have been in serious trouble) and, hilariously, owned a white Siberian tiger, which cost a fortune just to feed.
Michael Jackson was another who had his head turned by riches. If celebrities want something, they often have it, but surely building your own, private amusement park is going just a bit far? Neverland might have been world-famous, but it also took Jackson into millions of dollars in arrears that he never quite recovered from.
Think your rent is bad? It cost the King of Pop $200,000 a month to live in his own home. Admittedly it was populated by a family of expensive Sony robot dogs.
You can feel sorry for Jackson now he's left us, of course. But you have to laugh at Kim Basinger's folly. A Neverland-style fun-park wasn't enough for the Oscar-winning Bond girl. She had to go and buy an entire town.
Braselton, Georgia, was, in effect, Basingerville from 1989 to 1993, and there were big plans for a film festival and movie studios. Until Basinger ran out of cash, pulled out of the film Boxing Helena (for which we don't blame her) and ended up filing for bankruptcy.
So why do these narcissistic celebrities get themselves into such financial problems? Because, in effect, no one dares tell them "no". Combine that with a lavish, deliberately ostentatious lifestyle designed to show off how important and successful they are, even when they have done nothing of any note in years - and it's no surprise they spend what they've got. And what they haven't.
Still, there is hope. In 1833, Abraham Lincoln went bankrupt. And, in 1922, none other than Walt Disney ran out of cash. They didn't have the flotillas of yachts that Cage has. But they did start again, knuckle down- and history has been kind to them. So if Cage suddenly starts appearing in every blockbuster of 2010 and beyond, you can guess what's happened. Either that, or he really, honestly, needs another Rolls-Royce.
If you go
Flights
Emirates flies from Dubai to Phnom Penh with a stop in Yangon from Dh3,075, and Etihad flies from Abu Dhabi to Phnom Penh with its partner Bangkok Airlines from Dh2,763. These trips take about nine hours each and both include taxes. From there, a road transfer takes at least four hours; airlines including KC Airlines (www.kcairlines.com) offer quick connecting flights from Phnom Penh to Sihanoukville from about $100 (Dh367) return including taxes. Air Asia, Malindo Air and Malaysian Airlines fly direct from Kuala Lumpur to Sihanoukville from $54 each way. Next year, direct flights are due to launch between Bangkok and Sihanoukville, which will cut the journey time by a third.
The stay
Rooms at Alila Villas Koh Russey (www.alilahotels.com/ kohrussey) cost from $385 per night including taxes.
How to report a beggar
Abu Dhabi – Call 999 or 8002626 (Aman Service)
Dubai – Call 800243
Sharjah – Call 065632222
Ras Al Khaimah - Call 072053372
Ajman – Call 067401616
Umm Al Quwain – Call 999
Fujairah - Call 092051100 or 092224411
PREMIER LEAGUE STATS
Romelu Lukaku's goalscoring statistics in the Premier League
Season/club/appearances (substitute)/goals
2011/12 Chelsea: 8(7) - 0
2012/13 West Brom (loan): 35(15) - 17
2013/14 Chelsea: 2(2) - 0
2013/14 Everton (loan): 31(2) - 15
2014/15 Everton: 36(4) - 10
2015/16 Everton: 37(1) - 18
2016/17 Everton: 37(1) - 25
If you go
Where to stay: Courtyard by Marriott Titusville Kennedy Space Centre has unparalleled views of the Indian River. Alligators can be spotted from hotel room balconies, as can several rocket launch sites. The hotel also boasts cool space-themed decor.
When to go: Florida is best experienced during the winter months, from November to May, before the humidity kicks in.
How to get there: Emirates currently flies from Dubai to Orlando five times a week.
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Disclaimer
Director: Alfonso Cuaron
Stars: Cate Blanchett, Kevin Kline, Lesley Manville
Rating: 4/5
Thank You for Banking with Us
Director: Laila Abbas
Starring: Yasmine Al Massri, Clara Khoury, Kamel El Basha, Ashraf Barhoum
Rating: 4/5
FFP EXPLAINED
What is Financial Fair Play?
Introduced in 2011 by Uefa, European football’s governing body, it demands that clubs live within their means. Chiefly, spend within their income and not make substantial losses.
What the rules dictate?
The second phase of its implementation limits losses to €30 million (Dh136m) over three seasons. Extra expenditure is permitted for investment in sustainable areas (youth academies, stadium development, etc). Money provided by owners is not viewed as income. Revenue from “related parties” to those owners is assessed by Uefa's “financial control body” to be sure it is a fair value, or in line with market prices.
What are the penalties?
There are a number of punishments, including fines, a loss of prize money or having to reduce squad size for European competition – as happened to PSG in 2014. There is even the threat of a competition ban, which could in theory lead to PSG’s suspension from the Uefa Champions League.
Kanguva
Director: Siva
Stars: Suriya, Bobby Deol, Disha Patani, Yogi Babu, Redin Kingsley
Company%20Profile
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'Morbius'
Director: Daniel Espinosa
Stars: Jared Leto, Matt Smith, Adria Arjona
Rating: 2/5
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Nayanthara: Beyond The Fairy Tale
Starring: Nayanthara, Vignesh Shivan, Radhika Sarathkumar, Nagarjuna Akkineni
Director: Amith Krishnan
Rating: 3.5/5
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COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Qyubic
Started: October 2023
Founder: Namrata Raina
Based: Dubai
Sector: E-commerce
Current number of staff: 10
Investment stage: Pre-seed
Initial investment: Undisclosed
MATCH INFO
Uefa Champions League, last-16. first leg
Atletico Madrid v Juventus, midnight (Thursday), BeIN Sports
Wicked
Director: Jon M Chu
Stars: Cynthia Erivo, Ariana Grande, Jonathan Bailey
Biography
Favourite drink: Must have karak chai and Chinese tea every day
Favourite non-Chinese food: Arabic sweets and Indian puri, small round bread of wheat flour
Favourite Chinese dish: Spicy boiled fish or anything cooked by her mother because of its flavour
Best vacation: Returning home to China
Music interests: Enjoys playing the zheng, a string musical instrument
Enjoys reading: Chinese novels, romantic comedies, reading up on business trends, government policy changes
Favourite book: Chairman Mao Zedong’s poems
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Company%20profile
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Electoral College Victory
Trump has so far secured 295 Electoral College votes, according to the Associated Press, exceeding the 270 needed to win. Only Nevada and Arizona remain to be called, and both swing states are leaning Republican. Trump swept all five remaining swing states, North Carolina, Georgia, Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin, sealing his path to victory and giving him a strong mandate.
Popular Vote Tally
The count is ongoing, but Trump currently leads with nearly 51 per cent of the popular vote to Harris’s 47.6 per cent. Trump has over 72.2 million votes, while Harris trails with approximately 67.4 million.
FORSPOKEN
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Starfield
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THURSDAY'S FIXTURES
4pm Maratha Arabians v Northern Warriors
6.15pm Deccan Gladiators v Pune Devils
8.30pm Delhi Bulls v Bangla Tigers
Cricket World Cup League 2
UAE squad
Rahul Chopra (captain), Aayan Afzal Khan, Ali Naseer, Aryansh Sharma, Basil Hameed, Dhruv Parashar, Junaid Siddique, Muhammad Farooq, Muhammad Jawadullah, Muhammad Waseem, Omid Rahman, Rahul Bhatia, Tanish Suri, Vishnu Sukumaran, Vriitya Aravind
Fixtures
Friday, November 1 – Oman v UAE
Sunday, November 3 – UAE v Netherlands
Thursday, November 7 – UAE v Oman
Saturday, November 9 – Netherlands v UAE