Agent Juarez (Penelope Cruz) and Agent Darwin (Sam Rockwell) are members of the elite guinea pig squad the G-Force, who are racing to prevent a billionaire from implementing an evil plan for world domination.
Agent Juarez (Penelope Cruz) and Agent Darwin (Sam Rockwell) are members of the elite guinea pig squad the G-Force, who are racing to prevent a billionaire from implementing an evil plan for world domShow more

G-Force



Most family comedies fall into one of two categories. There are those, such as the Shrek series, that rely on celebrity voice-overs, pop-culture references and huge action sequences to get the job done. Then there are films like Pixar's latest blockbuster, Up, which look to vintage Disney pictures or Spielberg classics such as ET for inspiration, and where storytelling is king. Perhaps unsurprisingly, G-Force, a live-action/animated film about a crack team of guinea pigs who fight international crime, falls into the first group.

The Jerry Bruckheimer-produced movie begins with a Mission Impossible-style raid, orchestrated by the pint-sized super-agents at the home of the billionaire tycoon Leonard Saber (Bill Nighy). We are introduced to the furry heroes one by one during the intelligence-gathering operation: there's the brave and likeable team leader Darwin (Sam Rockwell), the seductive female agent Juarez (Penélope Cruz), the wisecracking homeboy Blaster (Tracy Morgan) and the tech-savvy mole Speckles (Nicolas Cage). During the sequence, the team learns that Saber is planning to secretly link all of the world's technology into one mainframe, under his command.

But despite the somewhat successful operation, government operatives close down the G-Force programme after it puts two years worth of work by regular agents in jeopardy. The elite rodents quickly find themselves on sale in a local pet shop, alongside a group of mentally inferior specimens. But after breaking out of the shop with the enthusiastic but clumsy wannabe agent Hurley (Jon Favreau) in tow, the group race to stop Saber from implementing his diabolical plan. There are plenty of obstacles in their path, however. Not only are the government agents responsible for closing down G-Force still hunting them, but Saber's household appliances are turning into vicious attack drones with their sights fixed firmly on the elite guinea pigs. As if that weren't enough, the teammates are also forced to confront an uncomfortable truth about their origins.

G-Force is essentially a pastiche of some of the action genre's biggest clichés, played out by cutesy anthropomorphised animals. While there's nothing wrong with genre-tribute movies or talking animals, this film just feels cynical and opportunistic in its cack-handed combination of the two Hollywood formulas. In a year when the aforementioned masterpiece Up and the strangely brilliant Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs were released, G-Force barely deserves a mention.

The film's relentless roster of celebrity voice-overs is frustrating, not just because it is unnecessary, but because the actors in question have lent their voices to a set of painfully wooden characters. Even worse, every member of the G-Force slavishly conforms to his or her racial and gender stereotypes and the result is embarrassing and uncomfortable. The female agent Juarez seems to exist for little reason other than as an object of her teammates' desires. The guinea pig that is voiced by an African-American actor speaks in nothing but ghetto slang, and the white American male actor's character is, somewhat unsurprisingly, the team's leader.

The film deserves some praise for the look of its computer-animated characters, which (unlike Alvin and the Chipmunks) actually resemble the animals they're supposed to be based on. In fact, the film's design is generally imaginative and fun to look at. However, its few funny moments come not from the animated characters but the live-action performances by Zach Galifianakis (as G-Force's geeky human trainer) and Will Arnett (as an arrogant and self-serving federal agent).

Despite these few positives, the film does little more than piece together existing action movie sequences and disguise its laziness as irony and homage. It contributes nothing to either the action genre or family comedy. While it is easy to argue that very few children's films challenge their audience or their medium, few are as dumb as G-Force. ogood@thenational.ae

From Zero

Artist: Linkin Park

Label: Warner Records

Number of tracks: 11

Rating: 4/5

Tips from the expert

Dobromir Radichkov, chief data officer at dubizzle and Bayut, offers a few tips for UAE residents looking to earn some cash from pre-loved items.

  1. Sellers should focus on providing high-quality used goods at attractive prices to buyers.
  2. It’s important to use clear and appealing photos, with catchy titles and detailed descriptions to capture the attention of prospective buyers.
  3. Try to advertise a realistic price to attract buyers looking for good deals, especially in the current environment where consumers are significantly more price-sensitive.
  4. Be creative and look around your home for valuable items that you no longer need but might be useful to others.
THE BIO: Mohammed Ashiq Ali

Proudest achievement: “I came to a new country and started this shop”

Favourite TV programme: the news

Favourite place in Dubai: Al Fahidi. “They started the metro in 2009 and I didn’t take it yet.”

Family: six sons in Dubai and a daughter in Faisalabad

 

Citadel: Honey Bunny first episode

Directors: Raj & DK

Stars: Varun Dhawan, Samantha Ruth Prabhu, Kashvi Majmundar, Kay Kay Menon

Rating: 4/5

Pupils in Abu Dhabi are learning the importance of being active, eating well and leading a healthy lifestyle now and throughout adulthood, thanks to a newly launched programme 'Healthy Lifestyle'.

As part of the Healthy Lifestyle programme, specially trained coaches from City Football Schools, along with Healthpoint physicians have visited schools throughout Abu Dhabi to give fun and interactive lessons on working out regularly, making the right food choices, getting enough sleep and staying hydrated, just like their favourite footballers.

Organised by Manchester City FC and Healthpoint, Manchester City FC’s regional healthcare partner and part of Mubadala’s healthcare network, the ‘Healthy Lifestyle’ programme will visit 15 schools, meeting around 1,000 youngsters over the next five months.

Designed to give pupils all the information they need to improve their diet and fitness habits at home, at school and as they grow up, coaches from City Football Schools will work alongside teachers to lead the youngsters through a series of fun, creative and educational classes as well as activities, including playing football and other games.

Dr Mai Ahmed Al Jaber, head of public health at Healthpoint, said: “The programme has different aspects - diet, exercise, sleep and mental well-being. By having a focus on each of those and delivering information in a way that children can absorb easily it can help to address childhood obesity."

The Indoor Cricket World Cup

When: September 16-23

Where: Insportz, Dubai

Indoor cricket World Cup:
Insportz, Dubai, September 16-23

UAE fixtures:
Men

Saturday, September 16 – 1.45pm, v New Zealand
Sunday, September 17 – 10.30am, v Australia; 3.45pm, v South Africa
Monday, September 18 – 2pm, v England; 7.15pm, v India
Tuesday, September 19 – 12.15pm, v Singapore; 5.30pm, v Sri Lanka
Thursday, September 21 – 2pm v Malaysia
Friday, September 22 – 3.30pm, semi-final
Saturday, September 23 – 3pm, grand final

Women
Saturday, September 16 – 5.15pm, v Australia
Sunday, September 17 – 2pm, v South Africa; 7.15pm, v New Zealand
Monday, September 18 – 5.30pm, v England
Tuesday, September 19 – 10.30am, v New Zealand; 3.45pm, v South Africa
Thursday, September 21 – 12.15pm, v Australia
Friday, September 22 – 1.30pm, semi-final
Saturday, September 23 – 1pm, grand final

Fixtures:

Thursday:
Hatta v Al Jazira, 4.55pm
Al Wasl v Dibba, 7.45pm

Friday:
Al Dhafra v Al Nasr, 5.05pm
Shabab Al Ahli Dubai v Al Wahda, 7.45pm

Saturday:
Ajman v Emirates, 4.55pm
Al Ain v Sharjah, 7.45pm

COMPANY PROFILE
Name: HyperSpace
 
Started: 2020
 
Founders: Alexander Heller, Rama Allen and Desi Gonzalez
 
Based: Dubai, UAE
 
Sector: Entertainment 
 
Number of staff: 210 
 
Investment raised: $75 million from investors including Galaxy Interactive, Riyadh Season, Sega Ventures and Apis Venture Partners
Women’s World T20, Asia Qualifier, in Bangkok

UAE fixtures Mon Nov 20, v China; Tue Nov 21, v Thailand; Thu Nov 23, v Nepal; Fri Nov 24, v Hong Kong; Sun Nov 26, v Malaysia; Mon Nov 27, Final

(The winners will progress to the Global Qualifier)

How to protect yourself when air quality drops

Install an air filter in your home.

Close your windows and turn on the AC.

Shower or bath after being outside.

Wear a face mask.

Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.

If driving, turn your engine off when stationary.

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Basquiat in Abu Dhabi

One of Basquiat’s paintings, the vibrant Cabra (1981–82), now hangs in Louvre Abu Dhabi temporarily, on loan from the Guggenheim Abu Dhabi. 

The latter museum is not open physically, but has assembled a collection and puts together a series of events called Talking Art, such as this discussion, moderated by writer Chaedria LaBouvier. 

It's something of a Basquiat season in Abu Dhabi at the moment. Last week, The Radiant Child, a documentary on Basquiat was shown at Manarat Al Saadiyat, and tonight (April 18) the Guggenheim Abu Dhabi is throwing the re-creation of a party tonight, of the legendary Canal Zone party thrown in 1979, which epitomised the collaborative scene of the time. It was at Canal Zone that Basquiat met prominent members of the art world and moved from unknown graffiti artist into someone in the spotlight.  

“We’ve invited local resident arists, we’ll have spray cans at the ready,” says curator Maisa Al Qassemi of the Guggenheim Abu Dhabi. 

Guggenheim Abu Dhabi's Canal Zone Remix is at Manarat Al Saadiyat, Thursday April 18, from 8pm. Free entry to all. Basquiat's Cabra is on view at Louvre Abu Dhabi until October

Electoral College Victory

Trump has so far secured 295 Electoral College votes, according to the Associated Press, exceeding the 270 needed to win. Only Nevada and Arizona remain to be called, and both swing states are leaning Republican. Trump swept all five remaining swing states, North Carolina, Georgia, Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin, sealing his path to victory and giving him a strong mandate. 

 

Popular Vote Tally

The count is ongoing, but Trump currently leads with nearly 51 per cent of the popular vote to Harris’s 47.6 per cent. Trump has over 72.2 million votes, while Harris trails with approximately 67.4 million.

If you go
Where to stay: Courtyard by Marriott Titusville Kennedy Space Centre has unparalleled views of the Indian River. Alligators can be spotted from hotel room balconies, as can several rocket launch sites. The hotel also boasts cool space-themed decor.

When to go: Florida is best experienced during the winter months, from November to May, before the humidity kicks in.

How to get there: Emirates currently flies from Dubai to Orlando five times a week.
Disclaimer

Director: Alfonso Cuaron 

Stars: Cate Blanchett, Kevin Kline, Lesley Manville 

Rating: 4/5

COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Almnssa
Started: August 2020
Founder: Areej Selmi
Based: Gaza
Sectors: Internet, e-commerce
Investments: Grants/private funding
Kanguva
Director: Siva
Stars: Suriya, Bobby Deol, Disha Patani, Yogi Babu, Redin Kingsley
Rating: 2/5
 
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Racecard

6pm: Al Maktoum Challenge Round 2 Group 1 (PA) $55,000 (Dirt) 1,900m  

6.35pm: Oud Metha Stakes Rated Conditions (TB) $60,000 (D) 1,200m  

7.10pm: Jumeirah Classic Listed (TB) $150,000 (Turf) 1,600m  

7.45pm: Firebreak Stakes Group 3 (TB) $150,000 (D) 1,600m  

8.20pm: Al Maktoum Challenge Round 2 Group 2 (TB) $350,000 (D) 1,900m  

8.55pm: Al Bastakiya Trial Conditions (TB) $60,000 (D) 1,900m  

9.30pm: Balanchine Group 2 (TB) $180,000 (T) 1,800m   

MATCH INFO

Uefa Champions League semi-final, first leg
Bayern Munich v Real Madrid

When: April 25, 10.45pm kick-off (UAE)
Where: Allianz Arena, Munich
Live: BeIN Sports HD
Second leg: May 1, Santiago Bernabeu, Madrid

A%20QUIET%20PLACE
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DUBAI CARNIVAL RESULTS

6.30pm Handicap US$135,000 (Turf) 2,410m

Winner Dubai Future, Harry Bentley (jockey), Saeed bin Suroor (trainer).

7.05pm UAE 1000 Guineas Listed $250,000 (Dirt) 1,600m

Winner Dubai Love, Patrick Cosgrave, Saeed bin Suroor.

7.40pm Dubai Dash Listed $175,000 (T) 1,000m

Winner: Equilateral, James Doyle, Charles Hills.

8.15pm Al Bastakiya Trial Conditions $100,000 (D) 1.900m

Winner Laser Show, Kevin Stott, Saeed bin Suroor.

8.50pm Al Fahidi Fort Group Two $250,000 (T) 1,400m

Winner Glorious Journey, James Doyle, Charlie Appleby.

9.25pm Handicap $135,000 (D) 2,000m

Winner George Villiers, Tadhg O’Shea, Satish Seemar.

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Ten10 Cricket League

Venue and schedule Sharjah Cricket Stadium, December 14 to 17

Teams

Maratha Arabians Leading player: Virender Sehwag; Top picks: Mohammed Amir, Imad Wasim; UAE players: Shaiman Anwar, Zahoor Khan

Bengal Lions Leading player: Sarfraz Ahmed; Top picks: Sunil Narine, Mustafizur Rahman; UAE players: Mohammed Naveed, Rameez Shahzad

Kerala Kings Leading player: Eoin Morgan; Top picks: Kieron Pollard, Sohail Tanvir; UAE players: Rohan Mustafa, Imran Haider

Pakhtoons Leading player: Shahid Afridi; Top picks: Fakhar Zaman, Tamim Iqbal; UAE players: Amjad Javed, Saqlain Haider

Punjabi Legends Leading player: Shoaib Malik; Top picks: Hasan Ali, Chris Jordan; UAE players: Ghulam Shabber, Shareef Asadullah

Team Sri Lanka Cricket Will be made up of Colombo players who won island’s domestic limited-overs competition