Zoolander 2
Director: Ben Stiller
Stars: Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell, Penelope Cruz
Two stars
Belated sequel Zoolander 2, directed and co-written by star Ben Stiller, aims to be silly and ridiculous – just like the original was 15 years ago, only more so.
The “more so” ends up being the problem. It ups the ante so aggressively and relentlessly that you might find yourself pining for a relaxing night in front of a 2001-era TV, watching the original on a VHS videotape.
That’s not to say there aren’t laugh-out-loud moments, especially when your favourite celebrities or designers appear in cameos, playing themselves.
Eventually, however, you’ll start to feel like your smile is frozen on your face (and it has nothing to do with Botox), while in your heart, you’ve stopped laughing.
But boy, those cameos. We begin with Justin Bieber being chased through the streets of Rome and gunned down, bullets riddling his body like a scene from The Godfather. Before succumbing, he naturally manages to send a duck-faced selfie to his fans.
This sets up the international intrigue side of the movie – all you need to know is that Penelope Cruz is the head of Interpol’s Global Fashion Division, who is trying to find out why so many pop and rock stars are being murdered.
Meanwhile, retired models Derek Zoolander (Stiller) and Hansel (Owen Wilson), are no longer friends. They are reunited when they are summoned to Rome to appear in a fashion show hosted by tycoon Alexanya Atoz (an unrecognisable Kristen Wiig, channelling Donatella Versace).
The designer they are appearing for is Don Atari (Kyle Mooney), a millennial who endlessly spouts trendy jargon. In one genuinely funny jibe at such designers, Atari holds his catwalk show not at the beautiful Trevi Fountain, but in an abandoned medical-waste facility – “Totally toxic, but chill,” he notes.
Benedict Cumberbatch shows up here, spoofing gender ambiguity as a character called “All”.
Soon Zoolander and Hansel are dragged into the plot involving those rock-star murders – and a possible Fountain of Youth. This is where Mugatu (Will Ferrell) comes in. Remember him? Well, he’s in jail – fashion jail. Once he gets out, we’re ready for the final confrontation, where every designer you’ve ever heard of appears.
Valentino? Check. Hilfiger. The Wangs – Alexander AND Vera. Marc Jacobs. And of course, the doyenne of fashion, Vogue editor Anna Wintour, gamely playing it for laughs.
The quantity of all these cameos – we haven’t even told you about the rock stars – is undoubtedly impressive.
Yet, like too many blinding sequins on a catwalk gown, such quantity can be stifling, too.
artslife@thenational.ae
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UAE central contracts
Full time contracts
Rohan Mustafa, Ahmed Raza, Mohammed Usman, Chirag Suri, Mohammed Boota, Sultan Ahmed, Zahoor Khan, Junaid Siddique, Waheed Ahmed, Zawar Farid
Part time contracts
Aryan Lakra, Ansh Tandon, Karthik Meiyappan, Rahul Bhatia, Alishan Sharafu, CP Rizwaan, Basil Hameed, Matiullah, Fahad Nawaz, Sanchit Sharma
The specs
Engine: 2.0-litre 4-cylturbo
Transmission: seven-speed DSG automatic
Power: 242bhp
Torque: 370Nm
Price: Dh136,814
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Spider-Man: No Way Home
Director: Jon Watts
Stars: Tom Holland, Zendaya, Jacob Batalon
Rating:*****
MATCH INFO
Uefa Champions League semi-final, first leg
Bayern Munich v Real Madrid
When: April 25, 10.45pm kick-off (UAE)
Where: Allianz Arena, Munich
Live: BeIN Sports HD
Second leg: May 1, Santiago Bernabeu, Madrid
Essentials
The flights
Whether you trek after mountain gorillas in Rwanda, Uganda or the Congo, the most convenient international airport is in Rwanda’s capital city, Kigali. There are direct flights from Dubai a couple of days a week with RwandAir. Otherwise, an indirect route is available via Nairobi with Kenya Airways. Flydubai flies to Kinshasa in the Democratic Republic of Congo, via Entebbe in Uganda. Expect to pay from US$350 (Dh1,286) return, including taxes.
The tours
Superb ape-watching tours that take in all three gorilla countries mentioned above are run by Natural World Safaris. In September, the company will be operating a unique Ugandan ape safari guided by well-known primatologist Ben Garrod.
In the Democratic Republic of Congo, local operator Kivu Travel can organise pretty much any kind of safari throughout the Virunga National Park and elsewhere in eastern Congo.
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Buy farm-fresh food
The UAE is stepping up its game when it comes to platforms for local farms to show off and sell their produce.
In Dubai, visit Emirati Farmers Souq at The Pointe every Saturday from 8am to 2pm, which has produce from Al Ammar Farm, Omar Al Katri Farm, Hikarivege Vegetables, Rashed Farms and Al Khaleej Honey Trading, among others.
In Sharjah, the Aljada residential community will launch a new outdoor farmers’ market every Friday starting this weekend. Manbat will be held from 3pm to 8pm, and will host 30 farmers, local home-grown entrepreneurs and food stalls from the teams behind Badia Farms; Emirates Hydroponics Farms; Modern Organic Farm; Revolution Real; Astraea Farms; and Al Khaleej Food.
In Abu Dhabi, order farm produce from Food Crowd, an online grocery platform that supplies fresh and organic ingredients directly from farms such as Emirates Bio Farm, TFC, Armela Farms and mother company Al Dahra.
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Thank You for Banking with Us
Director: Laila Abbas
Starring: Yasmine Al Massri, Clara Khoury, Kamel El Basha, Ashraf Barhoum
Rating: 4/5
The specs
Engine: 2-litre or 3-litre 4Motion all-wheel-drive Power: 250Nm (2-litre); 340 (3-litre) Torque: 450Nm Transmission: 8-speed automatic Starting price: From Dh212,000 On sale: Now
What went into the film
25 visual effects (VFX) studios
2,150 VFX shots in a film with 2,500 shots
1,000 VFX artists
3,000 technicians
10 Concept artists, 25 3D designers
New sound technology, named 4D SRL
Moon Music
Artist: Coldplay
Label: Parlophone/Atlantic
Number of tracks: 10
Rating: 3/5
Some of Darwish's last words
"They see their tomorrows slipping out of their reach. And though it seems to them that everything outside this reality is heaven, yet they do not want to go to that heaven. They stay, because they are afflicted with hope." - Mahmoud Darwish, to attendees of the Palestine Festival of Literature, 2008
His life in brief: Born in a village near Galilee, he lived in exile for most of his life and started writing poetry after high school. He was arrested several times by Israel for what were deemed to be inciteful poems. Most of his work focused on the love and yearning for his homeland, and he was regarded the Palestinian poet of resistance. Over the course of his life, he published more than 30 poetry collections and books of prose, with his work translated into more than 20 languages. Many of his poems were set to music by Arab composers, most significantly Marcel Khalife. Darwish died on August 9, 2008 after undergoing heart surgery in the United States. He was later buried in Ramallah where a shrine was erected in his honour.
RESULT
Esperance de Tunis 1 Guadalajara 1
(Esperance won 6-5 on penalties)
Esperance: Belaili 38’
Guadalajara: Sandoval 5’
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