Fashion notes: Branded argyle? You’ve got to be kidding

When women start paying essentially 200 per cent more for basic argyle tights, I feel like I have a duty to point out the blatant brand-name-obsessed sickness.

A model for Prada sports argyle tights while walking down the runway at Milan Fashion Week. Pietro D’aprano / Getty Images

When Miuccia Prada made the decision to dress the Prada girls in argyle tights (or rather, toe-less, over-the-knee socks) for the Italian fashion house's autumn/winter 2016 runway show, you may have thought that critics would discount the move as a failed attempt to take something aged, and make it look fashion forward. But unsightly as it may have been, at the end of the day, it was Prada, and onlookers rejoiced at the sight of the argyle knit stockings and gloves, even though they clashed horridly with the velvet and jacquard evening wear they were paired with.

And if you hoped it was merely a runway accessory, not meant to ever make it into stores, you may have been appalled to learn that online luxury retailers Net-a-Porter and My Theresa bought plenty of the Dh2,000 wool tights and Dh800 socks. And trend-sucking “influencer”, blinded by the brand name, proceeded to buy (or perhaps they were gifted) them, even the dreadful toe-less versions.

I have nothing against argyle in general, but when women start paying essentially 200 per cent more for basic argyle tights, which are readily available in Marks & Spencer, not to mention the dollar store or pound shop in our home countries, I feel like I have a duty to point out the blatant brand-name-obsessed sickness.

In addition to hosiery, Prada’s autumn/winter 2016 collection features some chunky knits. Take inspiration from these, rather than the feet-focused fashion offerings, but instead of splurging, rummage through the wardrobes of the men in your family for an equally suitable option.

You can rest assured that I will not be sporting argyle tights, let alone Prada versions, this season. Instead, I’ll be wearing my husband’s old knit sweater vest with the diamond-like print, over a plain white button-down shirt and some ripped jeans or leather leggings.