Oh Zayn, Dubai still loves you. At least you got to take a picture at the Burj Al Arab. Kind of ... Pawan Singh / The National
Oh Zayn, Dubai still loves you. At least you got to take a picture at the Burj Al Arab. Kind of ... Pawan Singh / The National

Cutout Zayn Malik joins “One Direction” in Dubai



If you want to truly appreciate the deep and divisive reactions that One Direction have the power to provoke, try walking around Dubai for two days with life-sized cut-outs of the band members.

OK, it's not the easiest trick to pull off, but after The National's photographer Pawan Singh and I did just that, I'm certain there can be few better ways to gauge grass-roots public opinion than confronting passers-by with the four faces who make up the biggest boy band in the world. And the other one.

The passionate outpourings of appreciation and outright abuse that greet our cardboard copies of Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson and the recently departed Zayn ­Malik suggest something more akin to a bona fide phenomenon.

On the one hand, there are the ­hyenas. Hyperventilating ­super-fans who emit piercing shrieks before galloping gamely towards their prey, often planting a kiss on Harry’s face before leaning in for a ­selfie.

“I’m so excited,” says the 23-year-old Irish primary-school teacher Darina Lynch. “I love them. Zayn is my favourite, because he’s cute. Taking these photos has made my day.”

Little did she, or we, know that Malik would quit the band on Wednesday last week, just a few days after our little stunt. Why? Because it was “what feels right”.

“They’re so famous — I love all of them,” says 26-year-old Filipino photographer Emilyn Bagni. “Their songs are so nice and they’re pretty boys.”

Then there are the haters. The people who could have so easily ignored our playful prank and kept walking, but instead chose to take time out of their day to tell us how worthless the band are and how worthless your reporter’s life is for carrying around life-sized cut-outs of them.

And occupying the middle ground between the two extremes are the simply curious and bemused — those who recognise the band, but aren’t quite sure why.

“I don’t know, maybe they’re singers? I’m too old for them,” says Ludmila Kazantseva, a 33-year-old Russian face painter who works on Marina Walk. “Of course I’d love to have a picture with them. I’m still pretty — are they coming here? Can you give my number to them?”

Jean-Marie Schlömer is curious enough to stop jogging, but keeps his distance, with an amused expression on his face.

“Is it One Direction?” asks the 31-year-old French-German expat with a look of derision. “My opinion? I ignore them. Successfully so far — this is my closest encounter.”

Brushing aside my fear of jeers and derision, we drag the cut-outs around Dubai relentlessly, documenting the results as if on a makeshift sociological study.

We take the boys to chill with tourists on JBR beach and to ­ambush commuters in DIFC; to wander the Al Fahidi Historical District and to cruise the modern, man-made Palm Jumeirah.

On our travels — and travails — we encounter wind, rain, rush-hour traffic and hostile security guards.

We introduce the quintet to some of Dubai’s most iconic sights — from the Burj Al Arab to Deira’s Clocktower roundabout; Atlantis to Emirates Towers — and also experience a slice of everyday life with trips to Spinneys and a ride on the Dubai Tram.

We look on as they watch the Dubai Fountain spurt ­gloriously. We even take Harry and Zayn across the creek on an abra, twice, much to the confusion of fellow passengers and passing boats.

Everywhere we go, the opinions come thick and fast. As do the ­selfies.

“It’s not that I don’t like them, I’m just not crazy about them,” says Victoria, a Romanian administrator visiting Dubai on holiday. “I want a picture with them anyway. Why? So I can tell people I met One Direction. Why don’t you bring the real guys next time?”

“My niece is a big fan, we’re a bit older — well, a lot older,” says 54-year-old British tourist Jenny Moledina, who bumps into the boys on the tram. “They can sing. One of them — Zayn I think — looks like my nephew.

“I do listen to them. Well, I wouldn’t change stations if they were on the radio.”

One thing that our encounters makes clear is that 1D are clearly a global phenomenon.

“They are very famous in the Philippines — everyone knows their songs,” says Filipino textiles seller Ferdinand Matias, 47. “That is why everyone loves them.”

“They are nice, I like their music, they are young,” says Ethiopian sales worker Mimeomer Mona, 26, as she leans in for a photo. “I just wish I could go to the concert.”

Perhaps the most amusing ­reactions come at Deira’s Spice Souk and Gold Souk. Stallholders and shoppers alike are captivated and we fast-attract a merry band who follow us around the district’s winding, indoor corridors.

It quickly becomes apparent most of the people are far from clear on exactly who they’re stalking.

“It’s Justin Bieber,” says Yousef Khan, a 24-year-old Afghan shop assistant, a misidentification we hear repeated many times.

Despite previously coming face-to-face with a living, breathing member of the band, one British Marina resident, Lynn McGuirk, still struggled to identity the boys.

“Yes, no, yes ...” she says, uncertainly. “I was in Shoreditch [in London] and we saw one of them having lunch in Orange Pekoe, a famous lunch spot — it was the one in the middle. Harry? He had a hat on.

“I might have been a fan if I was 20 years younger. They’re very popular in the UK — before I left, all the young girls in the office between 20 and 24 absolutely loved them.”

While we aren’t short of intrigue, appreciation and derision, one thing few people could offer was an explanation for the fascination and strong feelings provoked by the band.

When it came to giving a coherent reason why these five young men have taken over the world, in a musical sense, we turn not to the young superfans, but to the ­parents.

“Their appeal is Harry Styles — it’s as simple as that,” says Louise Hutchings, a 41-year-old British mum. “It’s become a whole brand. Their songs are pretty good and I think they write them themselves, or have a hand in them anyway.”

Her 17-year-old daughter, Freya, has seen the band perform in Britain and, through a mutual friend, got her hands on a signed CD that is now her “prized possession”.

“They’re a good, clean-cut band,” Hutchings adds. “Mums like them, daughters like them. I like them from a mum’s point of view — I wouldn’t have a problem having tea with them. I’d invite them round, actually.”

A tram passenger, Australian tourist John Costa, echoes those sentiments, as he tells how his daughter, Elise, made a 1,800-­kilometre round trip from Melbourne to see the band perform in Sydney.

“I think it’s an obsession,” says the 50-year-old. “Why does she like them? Because she’s 20 years old and they’re attractive, famous, young, successful men — which is exactly what young women want.”

So, the big question — did his daughter think the show was worth the trip? Or do Dubai gig-goers risk being disappointed on Saturday at the Sevens Stadium?

“She loved it, it lived up to all her expectations,” he said. “I suppose it’s a bit like The Beatles for someone my age.”

By the end of my second day in the company of the cut-out ­heartthrobs, having battled the elements and braved the abuse, our cardboard heroes aren’t looking half as bright and sprightly as they had 34 hours earlier, when I ripped them shiny and new from their plastic packaging.

Zayn, in particular, is visibly exhausted — his head nodding uncontrollably forward after a nasty knock in the souq. We should have guessed that he was ready to call it a day.

As I remark out loud that Harry, the most harangued of all our 2-D 1D stars, can no longer stand upright at all without an industrial amount of Sellotape, I hear a voice respond.

“It’s nothing new, Harry looking worse for wear,” says Tracey Spicer, a 50-year-old British holidaymaker, with a grin.

The real One Direction perform at the Sevens Stadium on Saturday. Tickets are sold out

Thank You for Banking with Us

Director: Laila Abbas

Starring: Yasmine Al Massri, Clara Khoury, Kamel El Basha, Ashraf Barhoum

Rating: 4/5

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Joker: Folie a Deux

Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Lady Gaga, Brendan Gleeson

Director: Todd Phillips 

Rating: 2/5

'Gold'

Director:Anthony Hayes

Stars:Zaf Efron, Anthony Hayes

Rating:3/5

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MATCH INFO

Uefa Champions League semi-final, second leg result:

Ajax 2-3 Tottenham

Tottenham advance on away goals rule after tie ends 3-3 on aggregate

Final: June 1, Madrid

Barings Bank

 Barings, one of Britain’s oldest investment banks, was
founded in 1762 and operated for 233 years before it went bust after a trading
scandal. 

Barings Bank collapsed in February 1995 following colossal
losses caused by rogue trader Nick Lesson. 

Leeson gambled more than $1 billion in speculative trades,
wiping out the venerable merchant bank’s cash reserves.  

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SPECS
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How to watch Ireland v Pakistan in UAE

When: The one-off Test starts on Friday, May 11
What time: Each day’s play is scheduled to start at 2pm UAE time.
TV: The match will be broadcast on OSN Sports Cricket HD. Subscribers to the channel can also stream the action live on OSN Play.

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Uefa Champions League, semi-final result:

Liverpool 4-0 Barcelona

Liverpool win 4-3 on aggregate

Champions Legaue final: June 1, Madrid

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How to protect yourself when air quality drops

Install an air filter in your home.

Close your windows and turn on the AC.

Shower or bath after being outside.

Wear a face mask.

Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.

If driving, turn your engine off when stationary.

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Coming soon

Torno Subito by Massimo Bottura

When the W Dubai – The Palm hotel opens at the end of this year, one of the highlights will be Massimo Bottura’s new restaurant, Torno Subito, which promises “to take guests on a journey back to 1960s Italy”. It is the three Michelinstarred chef’s first venture in Dubai and should be every bit as ambitious as you would expect from the man whose restaurant in Italy, Osteria Francescana, was crowned number one in this year’s list of the World’s 50 Best Restaurants.

Akira Back Dubai

Another exciting opening at the W Dubai – The Palm hotel is South Korean chef Akira Back’s new restaurant, which will continue to showcase some of the finest Asian food in the world. Back, whose Seoul restaurant, Dosa, won a Michelin star last year, describes his menu as,  “an innovative Japanese cuisine prepared with a Korean accent”.

Dinner by Heston Blumenthal

The highly experimental chef, whose dishes are as much about spectacle as taste, opens his first restaurant in Dubai next year. Housed at The Royal Atlantis Resort & Residences, Dinner by Heston Blumenthal will feature contemporary twists on recipes that date back to the 1300s, including goats’ milk cheesecake. Always remember with a Blumenthal dish: nothing is quite as it seems. 

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Director: Eli Roth

Rating: 0/5

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Company name: baraka
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Founders: Feras Jalbout and Kunal Taneja
Based: Dubai and Bahrain
Sector: FinTech
Initial investment: $150,000
Current staff: 12
Stage: Pre-seed capital raising of $1 million
Investors: Class 5 Global, FJ Labs, IMO Ventures, The Community Fund, VentureSouq, Fox Ventures, Dr Abdulla Elyas (private investment)

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Based: Gaza
Sectors: Internet, e-commerce
Investments: Grants/private funding
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Name: Yousef Al Bahar

Advocate at Al Bahar & Associate Advocates and Legal Consultants, established in 1994

Education: Mr Al Bahar was born in 1979 and graduated in 2008 from the Judicial Institute. He took after his father, who was one of the first Emirati lawyers

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Label: Parlophone/Atlantic

Number of tracks: 10

Rating: 3/5

The specs
Engine: Long-range single or dual motor with 200kW or 400kW battery
Power: 268bhp / 536bhp
Torque: 343Nm / 686Nm
Transmission: Single-speed automatic
Max touring range: 620km / 590km
Price: From Dh250,000 (estimated)
On sale: Later this year
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Name: Airev
Started: September 2023
Founder: Muhammad Khalid
Based: Abu Dhabi
Sector: Generative AI
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Investment stage: Series A
Investors: Core42
Current number of staff: 47
 
Griselda
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The specs: 2019 Infiniti QX50

Price, base: Dh138,000 (estimate)
Engine: 2.0L, turbocharged, in-line four-cylinder
Transmission: Continuously variable transmission
Power: 268hp @ 5,600rpm
Torque: 380Nm @ 4,400rpm
Fuel economy: 6.7L / 100km (estimate)

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Benjamin Mendy (Monaco) - £51.75m (Dh247.94m)
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Douglas Luiz (Vasco de Gama) - £10.8m 

Kamindu Mendis bio

Full name: Pasqual Handi Kamindu Dilanka Mendis

Born: September 30, 1998

Age: 20 years and 26 days

Nationality: Sri Lankan

Major teams Sri Lanka's Under 19 team

Batting style: Left-hander

Bowling style: Right-arm off-spin and slow left-arm orthodox (that's right!)