Director: Jon Favreau
Starring: Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, Olivia Wilde
**
Like bodies lining the floor of a blood-soaked saloon, film history is littered with battered and broken attempts at combining Hollywood's most enduring genre - the Western - with science-fiction. Memories of the half-witted Wild Wild West and the shockingly inept Jonah Hex - both of which saw gunslingers clash with futuristic weaponry - would be enough to make even the bravest cowboy start blubbing into his stetson.
Fresh from reaping more than a billion dollars at the box office and winning critical plaudits with two Iron Man films, the actor-turned director Jon Favreau would seem better placed than most to make this genre mash-up work. The Marvel superhero movies, which starred Robert Downey Jr, both delivered special-effects set pieces aplenty, but truly won over audiences with an irresistible sense of humour. It makes sense, then, that Favreau would want to bring a similarly lighthearted touch to a film titled Cowboys & Aliens, right?
Wrong.
The story begins with Daniel Craig's dishevelled outlaw waking up in the desert with an acute case of amnesia and a thick metal bracelet around one wrist. After stealing a horse, some weapons and cowboy get-up from some badly matched attackers, he wanders into the nearest town. Absolution, he learns, is a failed mining community and its population now lives in the grip of Colonel Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford), a wealthy and heartless ranch owner. Among them is the beautiful but mysterious Ella (Olivia Wilde), who appears to be the only inhabitant of the town capable of washing more than once a month.
When Dolarhyde's troublemakin' son Percy (Paul Dano) begins to bully and extort money from the townsfolk in broad daylight, Craig's anti-hero teaches him a lesson in humility. The heir of Clint Eastwood's Man With No Name, Craig's Man With No Memory does it not because it is the right thing to do, but simply because he dislikes the good-for-nothin' boy.
When it inevitably arrives, the stand-off between Craig's and Ford's characters is cut short by silver flying machines firing energy weapons. Clearly outmatching the cowboys, the spacemen whisk away whomever they please for whatever purpose. Craig's character believes the aliens hold the key to unlocking his past, and with Dolarhyde's son Percy among the kidnapped, the pair decide to set aside their differences and pursue a common goal.
Favreau never gives the amusing premise the chance it deserves and the film stumbles from one po-faced encounter to the next. While Craig makes a surprisingly convincing cowboy, the frustratingly stoic character belongs in another film altogether. Instead, the nimble balancing of comedy and drama that Downey (who was originally cast as the lead) brought to Iron Man is sorely needed.
Although generally well-played and with individual scenes directed with considerable skill, the underlying preposterousness of the story - dusty gunslingers giving a highly advanced alien race a run for their money - is impossible to overcome. Though certainly not the worst high-tech Western to reach screens, Cowboys & Aliens has become the latest footnote in a terminally troubled subgenre.
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The specs
Engine: 3-litre twin-turbo V6
Power: 400hp
Torque: 475Nm
Transmission: 9-speed automatic
Price: From Dh215,900
On sale: Now
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The finalists
Player of the Century, 2001-2020: Cristiano Ronaldo (Juventus), Lionel Messi (Barcelona), Mohamed Salah (Liverpool), Ronaldinho
Coach of the Century, 2001-2020: Pep Guardiola (Manchester City), Jose Mourinho (Tottenham Hotspur), Zinedine Zidane (Real Madrid), Sir Alex Ferguson
Club of the Century, 2001-2020: Al Ahly (Egypt), Bayern Munich (Germany), Barcelona (Spain), Real Madrid (Spain)
Player of the Year: Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi, Robert Lewandowski (Bayern Munich)
Club of the Year: Bayern Munich, Liverpool, Real Madrid
Coach of the Year: Gian Piero Gasperini (Atalanta), Hans-Dieter Flick (Bayern Munich), Jurgen Klopp (Liverpool)
Agent of the Century, 2001-2020: Giovanni Branchini, Jorge Mendes, Mino Raiola
Kanguva
Director: Siva
Stars: Suriya, Bobby Deol, Disha Patani, Yogi Babu, Redin Kingsley
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Almnssa
Started: August 2020
Founder: Areej Selmi
Based: Gaza
Sectors: Internet, e-commerce
Investments: Grants/private funding
EMERGENCY PHONE NUMBERS
Estijaba – 8001717 – number to call to request coronavirus testing
Ministry of Health and Prevention – 80011111
Dubai Health Authority – 800342 – The number to book a free video or voice consultation with a doctor or connect to a local health centre
Emirates airline – 600555555
Etihad Airways – 600555666
Ambulance – 998
Knowledge and Human Development Authority – 8005432 ext. 4 for Covid-19 queries
Electoral College Victory
Trump has so far secured 295 Electoral College votes, according to the Associated Press, exceeding the 270 needed to win. Only Nevada and Arizona remain to be called, and both swing states are leaning Republican. Trump swept all five remaining swing states, North Carolina, Georgia, Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin, sealing his path to victory and giving him a strong mandate.
Popular Vote Tally
The count is ongoing, but Trump currently leads with nearly 51 per cent of the popular vote to Harris’s 47.6 per cent. Trump has over 72.2 million votes, while Harris trails with approximately 67.4 million.
De De Pyaar De
Produced: Luv Films, YRF Films
Directed: Akiv Ali
Cast: Ajay Devgn, Tabu, Rakul Preet Singh, Jimmy Sheirgill, Jaaved Jaffrey
Rating: 3.5/5 stars
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Qyubic
Started: October 2023
Founder: Namrata Raina
Based: Dubai
Sector: E-commerce
Current number of staff: 10
Investment stage: Pre-seed
Initial investment: Undisclosed
Duminy's Test career in numbers
Tests 46; Runs 2,103; Best 166; Average 32.85; 100s 6; 50s 8; Wickets 42; Best 4-47
'My Son'
Director: Christian Carion
Starring: James McAvoy, Claire Foy, Tom Cullen, Gary Lewis
Rating: 2/5
From Zero
Artist: Linkin Park
Label: Warner Records
Number of tracks: 11
Rating: 4/5
If you go
Where to stay: Courtyard by Marriott Titusville Kennedy Space Centre has unparalleled views of the Indian River. Alligators can be spotted from hotel room balconies, as can several rocket launch sites. The hotel also boasts cool space-themed decor.
When to go: Florida is best experienced during the winter months, from November to May, before the humidity kicks in.
How to get there: Emirates currently flies from Dubai to Orlando five times a week.
Disclaimer
Director: Alfonso Cuaron
Stars: Cate Blanchett, Kevin Kline, Lesley Manville
Rating: 4/5
A Cat, A Man, and Two Women
Junichiro Tamizaki
Translated by Paul McCarthy
Daunt Books
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The specs
Engine: 2-litre or 3-litre 4Motion all-wheel-drive Power: 250Nm (2-litre); 340 (3-litre) Torque: 450Nm Transmission: 8-speed automatic Starting price: From Dh212,000 On sale: Now
Fire and Fury
By Michael Wolff,
Henry Holt
SPECS
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Various Artists
Habibi Funk: An Eclectic Selection Of Music From The Arab World (Habibi Funk)
Sarfira
Director: Sudha Kongara Prasad
Starring: Akshay Kumar, Radhika Madan, Paresh Rawal
Rating: 2/5
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BOSH!'s pantry essentials
Nutritional yeast
This is Firth's pick and an ingredient he says, "gives you an instant cheesy flavour". He advises making your own cream cheese with it or simply using it to whip up a mac and cheese or wholesome lasagne. It's available in organic and specialist grocery stores across the UAE.
Seeds
"We've got a big jar of mixed seeds in our kitchen," Theasby explains. "That's what you use to make a bolognese or pie or salad: just grab a handful of seeds and sprinkle them over the top. It's a really good way to make sure you're getting your omegas."
Umami flavours
"I could say soya sauce, but I'll say all umami-makers and have them in the same batch," says Firth. He suggests having items such as Marmite, balsamic vinegar and other general, dark, umami-tasting products in your cupboard "to make your bolognese a little bit more 'umptious'".
Onions and garlic
"If you've got them, you can cook basically anything from that base," says Theasby. "These ingredients are so prevalent in every world cuisine and if you've got them in your cupboard, then you know you've got the foundation of a really nice meal."
Your grain of choice
Whether rice, quinoa, pasta or buckwheat, Firth advises always having a stock of your favourite grains in the cupboard. "That you, you have an instant meal and all you have to do is just chuck a bit of veg in."
Nayanthara: Beyond The Fairy Tale
Starring: Nayanthara, Vignesh Shivan, Radhika Sarathkumar, Nagarjuna Akkineni
Director: Amith Krishnan
Rating: 3.5/5