Cook patronises royalty

Danny DeVito takes an unusual approach to losing weight, Jamie Oliver mixes with royalty and Joan Rivers is not feeling exactly hospitable. All this and the Dalai Lama too, in our weekly Twitter round up.

• "Someone just told me that they enjoyed my biography but thought it was a little self centred." Simon Pegg, September 6.
• "i had the pleasure 2 met the Norwegian prince & princess this week at one young world ! prince did an amazing speech what a loverly couple!!" Jamie Oliver, September 5.
• "Are your Labor Day house guests still hanging around? Why won't they leave already!?!?" Joan Rivers, September 5.
• "#Happy30thBeyonce! Everything that happened before 1981 will now be referred to as 'preyonce'." Ellen DeGeneres, September 4.
• "It's an Emma Stone weekend! Just saw #CrazyStupidLove. Surprisingly DELIGHTFUL film! Loved it! Loved her in it! Much more than in The Help!" Perez Hilton, September 4.
• "Juice fast. Stop tweeting. Go sit in the sun. See you in five pounds." Danny DeVito, September 3.
• "The practice of altruism is the authentic way of living a human life; it is not limited only to the religious." Dalai Lama, September 2.
• "@AlecBaldwin You are in my guts like. Like a punch from Hemingway in eyeshadow." Russell Brand, September 1.
• "Wow, people are being nice to me cause I'm pregnant. Doors being opened, people being helpful etc, its like a whole new world." Lily Rose Cooper (aka Lily Allen), September 1.