Join us in Los Angeles for the 85th Academy Awards, which we'll be covering here on this blog from the first red-carpet walkers right down to the last bit of gong-giving. Oh, and we're not actually in LA. We're watching it on TV. See if you agree or disagree with our <a href="http://www.thenational.ae/blogs/all-dressed-up/oscars-2013-best-and-worst-dressed">Oscars 2013: best and worst dressed</a> <strong>9.06am</strong>. Well, that's it. Big wins for <em>Argo</em>, for<em> Life of Pi</em> and, well, for film in general, right? You've been great. No really, you have. I've been Alex Ritman. And I'm really quite tired, and also suffering the side effects from a whole lot of Haribo, Oreos and barbecue-flavoured rice crackers. Oh, and I've just seen that you can watch the whole thing again on Fox later today. Just in case you hadn't had seen enough Hollywood folk thinking they can sing. Good night everyone! Oh, it's morning. <strong>9.01am.</strong> Oh no. I think it's going to end on a song. By Seth MacFarlane and Kristen Wotserface (the tiny weeny presenter from much much earlier), no less. And it's a song dedicated to the losers, which is nice. <strong>8.56am</strong>. Wow! Who expected that? Not me. Producers Grant Heslov, George Clooney and Ben Affleck take to the stage, along with some others not on Wikipedia. "On behalf of George and myself, I want to thank you Ben, you made a hell of a film," says Grant. And now to Affleck, who thanks a whole lot of people, including Tony Mendez, and Canada, and Iran. And his wife. "Who I don't normally associate with Iran". <strong>8.55am.</strong> Michelle Obama reads it out.. it's <em>ARGO</em>! <strong>8.54am</strong> So, it's the biggy. Who's it going to be? <strong>8.52am</strong> Here's Johnny! It's Jack Nicholson, in a little red bow tie (and a suit), who introduces Michelle Obama LIVE from the White House to give us a nice brief about how great films are. Is this a first? <strong>8.48am.</strong> Danny Day-Lewis! Who makes Oscar history by becoming the first to win three in the Best Actor category. He's clearly quite moved. "I really don't know how any of this happened. I've received more than my fair share of good fortune in my life. Strangely enough, I'd been committed to play Margaret Thatcher. And Meryl was Steven's first choice for <em>Lincoln</em>. And I'd like to see that version. Steven didn't have to persuade me to be Lincoln, I had to persuade him it shouldn't be a musical." So it's not just Colin Firth who can wheel out the straight-faced British humour. Go Daniel. <strong>8.45am</strong> "This next presenter needs no introduction," says MacFarlane. So he doesn't. And out walks Meryl Streep with the Best Actor Award. Surely this is Day-Lewis' Day? Or is <em>Lincoln</em>'s night going to crumble even further? <strong>8.43am.</strong> And its Jennifer Lawrence!! Her first Oscar. "This is nuts!" She looks genuinely gobsmacked. <strong>8.40am.</strong> And it's Jean Dujardin (remember, from <em>The Artist</em>, you know, last year, the black and white one with the plinky plonk music and lack of speech?). And he's got the golden envelope for Best Actress.... Amour's Riva is the fave for this one. But could it be Chastain? <strong>8.38am.</strong> Well, well, well. What is happening to <em>Lincoln</em>? It had 12 nominations and at my last count only has one confirmed win. And we're running out of gongs... <strong>8.34am</strong> And it's Ang Lee!!! Fantastic! <em>Life of Pi</em> is cleaning up! Go 3-D tigers! "You're a miracle," he says to Shuraj Sharma, who played Pi. Lovely smiley speech from Ang. Shout out to his wife, of course. "This year we'll be married for 30 years," he says, while she pulls faces in the audience. <strong>8.32am</strong>. Jane Fonda and Michael Douglas elegantly wander on stage to read out some nice words about how cinema can take you to another world, yada yada yada. It's the Best Director Award... <strong>8.29am.</strong> Is it just me or is Quentin Tarantino starting to look a lot like Jaws from <em>James Bond</em> films? <strong>8.26am.</strong> Best Original Screenplay. <em>Django Unchained</em>! A uniquely scruffy Tarantino takes to the stage. "Charlize is my neighbour," he exclaims. "I have to cast the right people to make these characters come alive, and boy this time did I do it. It's such an honour to get it this year, because in the original and adapted, the writing is fantastic. This is the writer's years man, peace out!" Nice speech Quentin. Yay to writing! But not, perhaps, after having stayed awake all night on a diet of Haribo. Apologies for the typos that must be littering this blog by now.... <strong>8.24am</strong> Win for <em>Argo</em>! Slap in the face for Canada! And for historical accuracy. Ooh dear, and he's dedicated it to Tony Mendez... Again, further slaps for Canada. <strong>8.22am</strong> Dustin Hoffman and Charlize Theron read off a board in front of them. Seriously, I thought these people were supposed to be fine actors. Ok, so it's Best Adapted Screenplay. <em>Argo</em> is highly tipped, although rather controversially (the whole Canada thing). <strong>8.16am</strong> <em>SKYFALL</em> WINS! So that's an Oscar, a Grammy and a Brit that Adele has won so far this year. And it's still February. Adele gets a bit teary but pulls it off with class. "You're all amazin!" she says to everyone in the audience. <strong>8.14am.</strong> Oh, no answer yet, first Norah Jones singing a razzmatazz-style song written by Seth MacFarlane, apparently. It's a bit meh, tbh. <strong>8.12am.</strong> And now, Best Original Song... it's got to be <em>Skyfall</em>, no? <strong>8.10am</strong> Which goes to... Mychael Danna for <em>Life of Pi</em>! Great film, great soundtrack (I think). <strong>8.08am</strong> It's the cast of <em>Chicago</em> – Richard Gere, Renee Zellweger, Queen Latifah and Catherine Zeta Jones. Please don't sing! We've had enough of that. No, instead they just rattle off some lines written by a team of line writers for the Best Original Score Award. <strong>8.01am.</strong> It's Babs Streisand! To sing <em>The Way We Were</em>. <strong>7.58am.</strong> Do they use the same music for the In Memoriam bit every year? Just wondering. <strong>7.55am.</strong> Well, time for a quick review. Lincoln isn't doing as well as expected. Just one award so far. <em>Les Mis</em>, <em>Life of Pi</em> and <em>Argo</em> have got a couple each I think. <strong>7.52am.</strong> Time for the honorary awards. Time for cup of coffee. <strong>7.43am</strong> It's Daniel Radcliffe and Kristen Stewart to present Best Production Design. He looks prim and proper and smart. She looks wasted. Win for <em>Lincoln</em>. <strong>7.40am.</strong> Great! And the ads cut off the end of <em>Skyfall</em>. Thanks Fox Movies! It's not like I haven't seen your ads for forthcoming films such as <em>Knight and Day</em> once or twice already this evening. <strong>7.38am.</strong> I'm going to be a bit controversial here and suggest that septuagenarian Shirley Bassey put on a more impressive show than 20-something Adele... #justsaying <strong>7.35am.</strong> Finally, some music that has nothing to do with<em> Les Mis</em> and isn't being sung by Hollywooders. It's <em>Skyfall</em>. And it is a good song. Although I think they need to turn Adele up a bit. That's two live Bond songs we've had tonight. Which was YOUR favourite? Do phone in. <strong>7.34am</strong> Ooh, it's Jennifer Lawrence to introduce the "unstoppable" Adele. <strong>7.32am</strong> Best Film Editing goes to.... William Goldenberg for <em>Argo</em>. <strong>7.30am.</strong> The head of the Academy comes on stage to promote a new museum about the Academy. And then invites some international students on stage to congratulate them for something. "And I'll see you at the new Academy museum!" <strong>7.26am</strong>. Coming up... more music. This time from Adele! <strong>7.22am.</strong> ... Anne Hathaway! "It came true! Here's hoping some day in the not to distant future, the misfortune of Fantine are only found in stories and not in real life," she says, also thanking a whole load of people we won't list here. <strong>7.21am.</strong> Christopher Plummer comes out to give out the Best Actress In A Supporting Role award. Everyone thinks it's going to be Anne Hathaway... and it's... <strong>7.19am.</strong> And odd skit about <em>The Sound of Music</em> gets hearty laughs but not in my lounge... I am very tired and I had no idea what was going on. <strong>7.11am.</strong> Hey it's Mark Wahlberg and his outspoken cuddly bear TED! This is impressive. Very impressive. Dialogue not so, but still. Best Sound Mixing.<em> Les Mis</em>. Bravo. Hahaha and Ted cracks an Israel joke. Right, Best Sound Editing. And it's a tie! First Oscar to<em> Zero Dark Thirty</em>, to man with hair that would suit a Hogwarts lecturer, probably Slytherin. And the second to <em>Skyfall</em>. And another guy with outlandishly long hair! You could form several prog rock outfits out of the audience tonight. <strong>7.08am</strong> Chris Pine and Zoe Saldana (both in <em>Star Trek</em>) come on to bore their way through a prepared speech about.. oh god, I actually just fell asleep. Sorry! Right. Concentrate. I've been up for a while. <strong>7.05am</strong>. The celebrity singstar event gets a standing ovation. Despite Russell Crowe. <strong>7.02am.</strong> Sorry, bit of a fib there, it's Hugh Jackman and Anne Hathaway singing. There has been an awful lot of A-list wailing so far this evening. Oh no, and it's Russell Crowe singing too. And Sasha Baron Cohen. And Amanda Seyfried. And Helena Bonham Carter. This is a massive A-list singfest. <strong>7.01am</strong>. And the final part of musical medley is for<em> Les Mis</em>, and it's Susan Boyle! <strong>7.00am</strong> Now we're on to <em>Dreamgirls</em>, with Jennifer Hudson unleashing her lungs. <strong>6.54am.</strong> Ooh, more singing Catherine Zeta Jones in her <em>Chicago</em> get-up is shouting <em>All That Jazz</em>. Please pan to Michael Douglas asleep and dribbling. No? <strong>6.52am.</strong> It's Big Johny J Travolta up to present. My, he's got a shiny face. He also looks like he's got Lego hair. <strong>6.51am.</strong> Wow, Michel Hanneke is just outrageous, isn't he? <strong>6.50am</strong>.... <em>Amour</em> <strong>6.49am.</strong> Jennifer Garner and Jessica Chastain come up in thier nice gowns (Garner's less nice) for the Best Foreign Language Film, which will obviously go to... <strong>6.44am.</strong> And it goes to <em>Searching for Sugar Man</em>, about Sixto Rodriguez, a 1960s folk singer who became a huge hero in South Africa. Predictably, the Academy goes to the safe bet and avoids the Middle East. Israel will be pleased. <strong>6.42am.</strong> OMG OMG it's Benny Affleck up to present an award. And it's For Best Documentary. Come on<em> 5 Broken Cameras</em>! <strong>6.41am.</strong> MAJOR SNACK UPDATE. The rice crackers have been opened. <strong>6.37am.</strong> Liam Neeson, introduced as a modern American superhero, comes on to talk about some of the Best Picture nominees, this time <em>Argo</em>, <em>Lincoln</em> and<em> Zero Dark Thirty</em>. No messing with Liam, he comes up and says his piece. In his distinct, er, modern American accent. <strong>6.35am</strong> Quickly onto Best Documentary Short. Which goes to <em>Inocente</em>. "Artists are dying in our communities," the directors tell us. There's a bit of weeping. <strong>6.32am</strong> <em>DJANGO</em> and Mrs <em>DJANGO</em>, Jamie Foxx and Kerry Washington introduce Best Live Action Short... Come on <em>Buzkashi Boys</em>! Ah, it goes to <em>Curfew</em> by Shawn Christensen. <strong>6.28am</strong>. Oops, and it's another awkwardly placed ad break. Nice one, and it looks like the ads missed out something from the joy. ACE. <strong>6.25am.</strong> SHIRLEY BASSEY IS SINGING <em>GOLDFINGER</em>! Have to admit, the 'er' of 'finger' is coming out quite aggressively. Actually, there's definitely more shouting in this than singing. Still, impressive for a 76-year-old. <strong>6.22am.</strong> It's Halle Berry in her ridiculous circuit board meets David Bowie outfit with pointy shoulders... And she's out to present a nice little video medley in honour of Bond. <strong>6.20am</strong> Best Makeup and Hairstyling goes to...<em> Les Miserables</em>... BUT ANNE HATHAWAY WENT BALD! <strong>6.18am.</strong> It's Jennifer Aniston and Channing Tatum come out to describe the joys of makeup artists and costume design with a few gags thrown in for size. And the winner for Best Costume Design goes to... Jacqueline Durran for <em>Anna Karenina</em> <strong>6.12am.</strong> Hahahahaha, it seems the band are going to start playing the music from <em>Jaws</em> when winner's speeches go on for too long. Well, that's what happened to the <em>Life of Pi</em> Visual Effects guys. <strong>6.09am.</strong> Award for Visual Effects goes to... <em>Life of Pi</em>! Well deserved. Again, astonishing film. Amazing effects. That computer-made tiger was about as realistic as they come. Terrifyingly realistic. <strong>6.06am.</strong> It's the AVENGERS on stage. But without Scarlett Johansson. And they do a funny little skit before unveiling the next award... in Cinematograpy. Which goes to Claudio Miranda for <em>Life of Pi</em>, which was just beautiful. And he's got a WHOLE lot of long grey hair. If the film business doesn't work out for him... Spinal Tap tribute act? <strong>6.05am.</strong> MORE JOKES FROM SETH, this time about Quvenshane Wallis. "To give you some idea just how young she is, she 16 years from being too old for Clooney." <strong>6am.</strong> Winner is <em>BRAVE</em>, and the director comes up wearing a kilt. He doesn't have a Scottish accent. He's American. <strong>5.59am</strong> BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM. Fingers crossed it goes to <em>Pirates</em>. Coz it was ace. <strong>5.58am.</strong> Winner is <em>Paperman</em>, a quite charming little film (you can watch it online). <strong>5.56am.</strong> A beardy Paul Rudd and a not beardy Melissa McCarthy come on stage to present something but insist on some awkward "comedy" dialogue first. Right, it's Animated Short Film... <strong>5.50am.</strong> "We participated in a hero's journey, and the hero here was Quentin Tarantino," he says, while a pleased looking Tarantino slouches in a chair with a tie already in danger of falling off. <strong>5.49am.</strong> And it's...... CHRISTOPH WALTZ!!! Yay! <strong>5.47am</strong>. <strong>FIRST AWARD TIME.</strong> Presented by Octavia Spencer. And it's for Actor in a Supporting Role. I'm going for Christoph Waltz (even though it wasn't really supporting, he owned <em>Django</em>) <strong>5.45am.</strong> This is very odd. We've just had a sketch about Seth trying to get it on with Sally Field backstage. And we're back to another old-school song-and-dance number with Radcliffe, Levitt, Tatum and Theron. The audience are clapping, but who knows if they've got any idea what's going on... <strong>5.42am.</strong> Daniel Radcliffe and Gordon Levitt-Joseph are doing a song and dance routine with Seth now. I'm not sure why. This followed an odd sock-puppet sketch. And we've still got Shatner here telling him why he's a bad host. <strong>5.39am.</strong> Channing Tatum and Charlize Theron do a dance, while Seth sings. It's a bit school performance. What was that all about? <strong>5.39am.</strong> It's a song! It's a song about seeing famous actresses without their tops on in certain films! Ah. <strong>5.35am.</strong> Eek, it's Captain James T Kirk, William Shatner, who has just emerged on a big screen. This is odd. "I have come back in time to stop you destroying the Academy Awards." Hmm. <strong>5.34am.</strong> "If you bumped into Don Cheadle would you try to free him?" – asking how far Daniel Day-Lewis took his method acting. <strong>5.33am.</strong> God, it's laugh a minute here. We can't keep up. <strong>5.32am.</strong> ANOTHER. "<em>Argo</em> was such a top-secret story, its director was unknown to the Academy" <strong>5.31am:</strong> FIRST JOKE ALERT: "And the quest to make Tommy Lee Jones laugh starts now!" <strong>5.30am.</strong> Tra-da! We're off, and it's Seth (MacFarlane)! <strong>5.25am.</strong> Right, and it seems the actual show is about to start so we can do away with all this blabbering about dresses. And just as the presenters say their thank yous, they're cut off mid-sentence with the adverts. Lovely. <strong>5.23am.</strong> Blimey, even Renee Zellweger is taller than the presenter. This is ridiculous. <strong>5.17am.</strong> Daniel Day-Lewis speaks very nicely about working with Spielberg and stuff. Afterwards he made a fart gag. If only... <strong>5.15am.</strong> KELLY ROWLAND FLIRTS WITH JAMIE FOXX RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS DAUGHTER. Leave it, Kelly. "I've always had a crush on you" says Foxx. This could get awkward. For the daughter. <strong>5.12am.</strong> "It's business in front, party at back," says Anne Hathaway of her off-whitish pinky Prada dress. Again, she says so while peering down at the minute presenter lady as if she's a small ant on the floor. <strong>5.09am.</strong> And it's the famed OSCARS ACCOUNTANTS, waltzing down the carpet clutching their briefcases with a pair of distinctly smug grins on their faces. Word is, they're both lined up to join the <em>Avengers</em> ensemble... <strong>5.08am.</strong> Just a millisecond before it cut to the adverts we were treated to a glimpse of Halle Berry in an outfit that appears to be channelling a circuit board. It's not a great look. <strong>5.07am.</strong> Hahahahaha. Something has gone wrong with the audio and it sounds like Sandra Bullock is bellowing over the whole crowd. <strong>5.06am.</strong> "I'm a trivia question now" says George Clooney on being told that only he and Disney have been nominated in four different categories (was it four?). This time he's a producer for <em>Argo</em>. <strong>5.04am.</strong> WHAT IS YOUR SECRET? It's the question! And it goes to Adele, who is TOWERING over the tiny presenter who is going to have some severe arm ache holding the mic up. Adele is singing tonight, and is up for an Oscar too for some song she did for a spy film. <strong>5.03am.</strong> This presenter has basically told every celeb she speaks to that she wants them to win the Oscar. It's not possible! They can't all win! <strong>5.00am.</strong> THREE HOURS DOWN and it's Jennifer Aniston in a big red dress being asked about her big red dress. Good ol' Jen. So great that's she's finally found happiness. Apparently her fiance made some of her jewellery. That's nice. A guy who makes jewellery. Poor Jen. <strong>4.55am.</strong> People in America have apparently been asking Daniel Radcliffe about the horse meat scandal, or so he tells the presenter. WHAT DOES HE KNOW? WHY IS THERE HORSE MEAT IN MY MICROWAVE LASAGNE DANIEL? He says he doesn't know. <strong>4.54am.</strong> Robert De Niro. And wow, he's actually put on a suit. He rocked up in Doha last year in what looked like a scruffy cardigan. You know, Bob is a mighty fine actor and everything, but he really does fail on the chat front-of-screen. Even the presenter is struggling to remain enthusiastic. <strong>4.50am.</strong> It's getting difficult to keep up with all the A-listness. The camera pans from Ben Affleck to Hugh Jackman in a matter of seconds. Both sporting beards. Actually, there's lot of facial hair going on. Bravo to that. <strong>4.44am. MAJOR SNACK UPDATE</strong>. I have opened the second packet of Haribo. This time it's Happy Cherries. <strong>4.42am.</strong> Charlize Theron is working her short hair crop. You're supposed to say 'work', aren't you? This is new to me. And it's 'on-trend' instead of 'trendy', isn't it? <strong>4.41am.</strong> "And there is a traffic jam of celebrities, ladies and gentlemen," says the presenter. Someone give a honk. Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban, clearly having taken a slip-road, are prattling on about something to the camera. <strong>4.38am.</strong> And Bradley Cooper has brought his mum. Who has brought a dead fluffy creature to sling across her shoulders. <strong>4.35am.</strong> Hahahahaha, this show is so stuttered. Just as the camera pans to a celebrity and a presenter quickly starts getting excited, they're cut off mid-sentence as it cuts to another ad break. The last shot we had was of Jennifer Aniston. Oh, poor Jen. Poor, poor, unlucky Jen. Hang on, she's happy now, isn't she? <strong>4.32am.</strong> Joseph Gordon-Levitt (or is it Gordon Joseph-Levitt?) is wearing silly(ish) socks. And he has also just met Dustin Hoffman and Jane Fonda. He's excited. And so are we. I mean me. Ah, it's time for another cup of tea. <strong>4.30am.</strong> "Do you enjoy the process of choosing a dress?". Seriously, Reece Witherspoon now knows what it's like to have received a grilling on the BBC's <em>Hardtalk</em>. <strong>4.29am.</strong> Warning. Samuel L Jackson has just tweeted a picture of himself in the car on the way to the Oscars wearing what looks like an aluminium suit. <strong>4.22am.</strong> Whoop! It's Naomi Watts and Liev Schrieber. She talks about her film while wearing a weird space-age number that wouldn't look out of place in <em>Barbarella</em>. He stands very quietly behind. BORING. <strong>4.20am.</strong> Up rocks Catherine Zeta-Jones and an old grey man. She's performing at the awards. He's probably going to fall asleep in his chair. <strong>4.16am.</strong> Jennifer Lawrence is wearing nine-inch heels and is towering over the diminutive presenter like a giraffe. She has very little of interest to say, but says it nicely enough. <strong>4.13am.</strong> Quvenzhane Wallis definitely getting the cute vote. She's just been cast as the new Annie and, when asked if she could sing, said "I guess". <strong>4.12am.</strong> Just to clarify, Seyfried wasn't talking about an intestinal worm there, but her corset. <strong>4.11am.</strong> Amanda Seyfried Breaking News. "I can't sit down and feel like my organs are being pushed out of my body slowly." <strong>4.03am.</strong> So it basically seems they've got presenters stationed every 20 metres on the carpet to ensure not a single speck of A-list dress flattery can be missed. I'm still yet to hear one of my favourite questions from last year – "What's your secret?" <strong>4.00am.</strong> TWO HOURS DOWN. And we appear to have switched presenters over. We've swooped from the rooftops right onto the red carpet now, so there'll be no gazing from up above at the stars, er, below. We're told the red carpet is 5,000 feet long. Ahhh, and we get to see why Kelly Rowland got here so early.. she's one of the presenters. <strong>3.56am.</strong> The presenters are LOVING whatever it is Jennifer Lawrence is wearing. There appear to be diamonds on it. <strong>3.55am.</strong> "We're having a total party here," says the weird cheery presenter who has been sat behind a desk grinning inanely into the camera for the past two hours. <strong>3.54am.</strong> Awkward ending to red carpet interview with Sally Fields when the presenter suddenly announced he was going to kiss her. She didn't appear overjoyed. <strong>3.52am.</strong> The guy from <em>Zero Dark Thirty</em>, you know, the one who was doing the tortures at the start. Jason Clarke, that's it. Anyway, he's here and he's got a deeply distrusting look in his eye, as if he's looking for Osama bin Laden among the photographers. <strong>3.49am.</strong> <strong>MAJOR STAR ALERT</strong>. Jennifer Lawrence has been spotted on the carpet. As has Amanda Seyfried. I'm not going to comment on their dresses, I'm not qualified enough. OK then, they're both "fabulous" and a "triumph". <strong>3.42am.</strong> Quvenzhane Wallis, the youngest actress to ever be nominated for Best Actress (she's 9), is being asked about her purse. "It is designer or did you get it in a department store?" Jeez. Anyway, she seems very nice. The presenters have mentioned several times now that she's wearing "age-appropriate" clothing, whatever that means. <strong>3.39am.</strong> I'll wager I'll have seen this Hardy's ad several hundred times by the time the sun rises. <strong>3.34am.</strong> Channing Tatum. Bit of a buzz cut going on – looks a bit like a jock in a teen drama who, at the end, would fall in some manure or something while the nerds point and laugh. <strong>3.31am.</strong> Did you know Amy Adams has had four Oscar nominations? "I have a good time. It beats the alternative of being unemployed," she says, clearly thinking she's better than bar work. <strong>3.27am.</strong> And it's Amy Adams (Best Supporting Actress, <em>The Master</em>), and in a gigantic billowing grey feathery dress. She looks like she attacked a flock of swans. <strong>3.17am.</strong> Jessica Chastain is here, ladies and gentlemen. And she's wearing a nice gown that is an "undeniably amazing choice" and makes her "look like a movie star". There you have it. Looks a bit beige to me. Would have been so much better had she turned up dressed as a Navy SEAL. <strong>3.09am</strong>. Just read somewhere that the people who generally arrive to the Oscars first are the animation and live-action shorts people. Which could mean we get to see the team behind the nominated Afghan short, <em>Buzkashi Boys</em>. What's that, I hear you ask. Well, you can read all about it <a href="http://www.thenational.ae/arts-culture/film/buzkashi-boys-is-a-debut-success-for-afghan-film-project" target="_blank">here</a>. <strong>3.05am</strong>. Seriously, they're doing a video breakdown of all the fashion choices each celeb has chosen so far this awards season. Current focus: Jennifer Lawrence. Do they do it for guys too? Here he wore a black suit. And here another black suit... <strong>3.01am.</strong> One hour down. Five more to go. One bag of Haribo eaten. <strong>2.59am.</strong> Seems quite funny that Fox Movies are advertising their screening of <em>Race to Witch Mountain</em> amid all this talk of incredible filmmaking and cinematography. <strong>2.56am.</strong> And it's the director of <em>Beasts of the Southern Wild</em>, Ben Zeitlin. Seems like a very nice chap. And I'm sure he still will be when he doesn't win the Best Picture or Best Director Oscar. <strong>2.51am.</strong> The first nominee has arrived, and it's the director of <em>Wreck-It Ralph</em>. I can't remember his name. <strong>2.49am.</strong> There's a presenter called Lawrence Zarian and I'm finding him just a little bit odd. He's far too cheery (for the Oscars as well). He reminds me of Phil Dunphy from <em>Modern Family</em>. But real. <strong>2.42am.</strong> It's <strong>WOLFGANG PUCK</strong>, and he's talking about food. There's going to be a lot and, by the looks of things, it's not going to be vol-au-vents. It's his 19th year of feeding the Oscars, apparently. <strong>2.37am.</strong> According the expert presenters, Jessica Chastain (Best Actress, <em>Zero Dark Thirty</em>), is "still trying to figure out her A-list style". And there's me thinking she'd just worn some nice dresses. <strong>2.34am.</strong> In one of the several mini pre-recorded features before anyone genuinely famous turns up, the nominations are asked about how they felt when they were first nominated for on Oscar. Well, it turns out Sally Field (Best Supporting Actress for <em>Lincoln</em>) only went and won an award back in 1980. I wasn't blogging it back then. <strong>2.31am.</strong> One of the presenters on the red carpet appears to be called George Pinnochio, or something very similar. Let's hope he's not too WOODEN when doing the celeb interviews, eh? Sorry, it's late. <strong>2.28am. MAJOR SNACK UPDATE</strong>. I have opened the box of Oreos. Never really been an Oreos man, but I wanted some biscuits and they were significantly cheaper than McVitie's chocolate digestives. Thoughts? Do email in at aritman@thenational.ae <strong>2.24am.</strong> I have absolutely no idea who Kristin Chenoworth is. Apparently she sings. And she's going to do so later in the awards. She's "going to enjoy it". According to Wikipedia, she's done a lot of TV. <strong>2.22am.</strong> <strong>FIRST CELEBRITY IN A DRESS ALERT</strong>. And it's Kelly Rowland. The dress is black and white. She poses and walks off. Solid work there, Kelly. Bit early, mind. <strong>2.20am</strong>. Apparently it's a "very strong year" in the Best Supporting Actress category this year. Which probably means you shouldn't challenge either Anne Hathaway, Amy Adams or Sally Fields to an arm wrestle. <strong>2.13am.</strong> Second batch of adverts. Oh dear. <strong>2.09am.</strong> And it's time for the first batch of adverts. I have the feeling I'm going to be getting to know these quite well. Last time there was one about a toothpaste that I probably saw about 50 billion times. Can't remember which one it was (which doesn't say much for the effects of advertising). <strong>2.04am</strong> (UAE time). Not a great deal happening yet on the ol' red carpet, which is why the presenters are filling the time talking about their all-important positions and how they're going to be perfectly placed to speak to celebrity types about their nice dresses. It's precision stuff. Well, here we go! It's 2am UAE time and I'm camped out on the sofa watching Fox Movies with a sizeable selection of sugary snacks and drinks in front of me, which can only mean one thing. Yes, it's <strong>Academy Awards</strong> time. If all goes to plan (assuming said sugary snacks keep me awake), I'll be live blogging the whole affair, from the red carpet to the awards, right through till about 8am, when I've been told it should be wrapping up. And I want you to join me (just to keep me company, really). You can email me on <a href="mailto:aritman@thenational.ae">aritman@thenational.ae</a> or grab me on Twitter at <a href="https://twitter.com/alexritman" target="_blank">@alexritman</a>. Send me your thoughts, your predictions, your snide remarks about people's outfits, anything really. Oh, and if the blog goes dead for a bit, a quick wake-up nudge would help, too.
