Shobhaa Dé, the glamorous lady before me, turned 60 around the same time that India celebrated 60 years of Independence, and her work in part powerfully traces the parallel stories of her own life and the cataclysmic changes in her country.
The internationally best-selling writer and popular social commentator is the author of such provocative works as Superstar India, Bollywood Nights, Spouse: The Truth About Marriage, as well as writing for the popular soap opera, Swabhimaan. Her new book, Shobhaa at Sixty, is a clarion call for women to embrace rather than be embarrassed about, the encroaching years.
"I would say that the biggest change has been the way we in India see ourselves and the way women have changed," she says. "I think most cultures are driven by change, very often pushed by women. Those cultures who realise that this change is going to come from women are cultures that prosper."
Dé's formative years were spent in Delhi as, she says, "the slightly bratty daughter of a bureaucrat". She was always writing. "It was almost like being born with a pen in my mouth rather than a silver spoon", she says. "My old diaries as a schoolgirl were to do with observations of the life around me." A defining moment was moving to Mumbai, which was later to become a character itself in her fiction. "Growing up in Mumbai at a time when Mumbai was defining itself was very exciting. I discovered many things about myself not just as a creative person but as a very competitive athlete."
At age 17, she started modelling extensively across the world, an experience that imbued her with confidence. As a copywriter, she learnt to take risks. "Every writer needs to take risks. One thing a writer cannot afford to do, is to live a dull life."
Dé has harnessed her diverse experiences in many genres of writing - short stories, memoirs, fiction, television, Twitter. "For me, writing is all-consuming and that really is what makes writing stimulating. It gives me a high." For her, fiction is a liberation. "It gives you a chance to occupy different minds. I believe there are no taboos in fiction, other than those you impose on yourself."
Dé breaks taboos in her non-fiction, too. The purpose of writing Shobhaa at Sixty, which tells of growing old with grace and good humour, was to send out a strong and powerful message that we do live in an ageist society. "India is a very young country. More than 70 per cent of people in India are under the age of 30. Traditionally, senior citizens did hold a position of respect, almost reverence. That is changing."
This can diminish the way women feel about themselves, she argues, but turning 60 is not the end of the road but the beginning of a new journey. "This book is to inspire women not to give up on themselves. The minute you do, the minute society will regard you in a diminished light. Self-worth is so delicate and so fragile. This is a book saying that in an ageist world you have to go out there and give it your best shot. We're living better, looking better, eating better - so there's no reason at all not to."
Dé describes the phenomenal response the book has received. "I think it has struck a strong emotional chord in women who were unable to express their own insecurities and anxieties. It's not offering magic mantras. It's saying accept it. Don't let it become a neurotic hell in which you become trapped. The worst thing that can happen is a scowl, not a bit of cellulite. The best cosmetic in the world is love. If you like yourself and are fortunate enough to be surrounded by people who like you, that beats any spa treatments."
She speaks powerfully about the hurdles faced by women in society: "I think most women are very good at negotiating hurdles. Life places more hurdles for them than men. Our brains are programmed to do that. We're expert jugglers and acrobats. We can tightrope walk and negotiate our way out of any situation."
A female writer faces particular challenges: "For me as a writer, the difficult part was breaking rules. If a woman is saying things that are not conforming to society's notions of what a woman should be saying and writing about, that always creates its own set of hurdles. But once I had established my nimbleness in negotiating those hurdles, I didn't have to look back."
Dé is outspoken as a writer on topics that concern her, explaining: "The best thing about being a writer in India is that one can take complete and total advantage of being in a democracy. Being able to speak out fearlessly does take some guts." However, she says, having made that decision and knowing that democracy and truth are in a way her "shield" makes it easier.
"Having said that," she concedes, "putting yourself on the line, especially when the issues you talk about are sensitive and politically charged, is not the easiest option, but for me there is no other option. I have never opted for safe. I know what goes with the turf. I choose to be this person and speak out."
And she hopes that by doing so, many more women will be encouraged to do the same, "so it can be not just one or two lone voices, but an entire movement". She believes there is very positive change in India in the way that women are regarded. "I often tell women who feel disenfranchised that the reason they feel that way is that they are not aware that in a democracy their interests are safe-guarded."
Dé has mastered the online technology revolution and is a prolific blogger and tweeter. "If you're not on the internet, you don't exist," she admits. "It's something my generation have had to wake up to. The connectivity and excitement that you generate on the internet is huge. You never know who you're actually reaching." Unlike other writers, she does not censor her negative comments. "I like to hear dissent," she says. "Age and youth don't have to compete. If we mutually embrace each other's strengths it will make the world a better place. Technology is going to be driving our lives in the next few decades. And with technology, age becomes irrelevant".
Juxtaposed with such new technologies are aspects of society that are difficult to shift. Dé was in a car when somebody knocked on the window and offered her a pirated copy of her own book. This way of selling books and magazines happens most aggressively at street signals, she explains.
Bollywood is a passion of hers and she speaks of how it is now "crossing cultures and crossing boundaries". She enjoys the escapism of a fabulously choreographed and costumed Bollywood movie: "Bollywood cinema is one of the best stress-busters ever. The more over-the-top the movie is, the more relaxing. You can see extraordinarily good-looking people in the most ridiculous situations. For two and a half hours you can just let go. The changes in Bollywood cinema reflect the changes in our own society."
As to whether she sees herself as a feminist, she says: "I'm fiercely pro-women but I'm fiercely pro-underdog, so I've stood up for men when I've felt they were getting a hard time. I would prefer to call myself a humanist than a feminist."
Her twin passions at the moment are teaching and travelling. She holds that "the greatest university on earth is travel. Each time, there's always a revelation".
The place at the heart of her new book is her "inner landscape". "You have to be at peace within yourself and project that to the world. I've always sought it out. The journey continues. It's a quest that never ends. I feel a productive energy within myself that I wish to channel and harness. There are thousands of ideas exploding inside my head. I feel very on top of my life. I hope that through my writing and life I can communicate even half of that enthusiasm. That in itself is a huge reward."
Company name: Play:Date
Launched: March 2017 on UAE Mother’s Day
Founder: Shamim Kassibawi
Based: Dubai with operations in the UAE and US
Sector: Tech
Size: 20 employees
Stage of funding: Seed
Investors: Three founders (two silent co-founders) and one venture capital fund
Zimbabwe v UAE, ODI series
All matches at the Harare Sports Club:
1st ODI, Wednesday, April 10
2nd ODI, Friday, April 12
3rd ODI, Sunday, April 14
4th ODI, Tuesday, April 16
UAE squad: Mohammed Naveed (captain), Rohan Mustafa, Ashfaq Ahmed, Shaiman Anwar, Mohammed Usman, CP Rizwan, Chirag Suri, Mohammed Boota, Ghulam Shabber, Sultan Ahmed, Imran Haider, Amir Hayat, Zahoor Khan, Qadeer Ahmed
Fourth-round clashes for British players
- Andy Murray (1) v Benoit Paire, Centre Court (not before 4pm)
- Johanna Konta (6) v Caroline Garcia (21), Court 1 (4pm)
box
COMPANY PROFILE
Company name: Letstango.com
Started: June 2013
Founder: Alex Tchablakian
Based: Dubai
Industry: e-commerce
Initial investment: Dh10 million
Investors: Self-funded
Total customers: 300,000 unique customers every month
The bio
Who inspires you?
I am in awe of the remarkable women in the Arab region, both big and small, pushing boundaries and becoming role models for generations. Emily Nasrallah was a writer, journalist, teacher and women’s rights activist
How do you relax?
Yoga relaxes me and helps me relieve tension, especially now when we’re practically chained to laptops and desks. I enjoy learning more about music and the history of famous music bands and genres.
What is favourite book?
The Perks of Being a Wallflower - I think I've read it more than 7 times
What is your favourite Arabic film?
Hala2 Lawen (Translation: Where Do We Go Now?) by Nadine Labaki
What is favourite English film?
Mamma Mia
Best piece of advice to someone looking for a career at Google?
If you’re interested in a career at Google, deep dive into the different career paths and pinpoint the space you want to join. When you know your space, you’re likely to identify the skills you need to develop.
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Kumulus Water
Started: 2021
Founders: Iheb Triki and Mohamed Ali Abid
Based: Tunisia
Sector: Water technology
Number of staff: 22
Investment raised: $4 million
Mia Man’s tips for fermentation
- Start with a simple recipe such as yogurt or sauerkraut
- Keep your hands and kitchen tools clean. Sanitize knives, cutting boards, tongs and storage jars with boiling water before you start.
- Mold is bad: the colour pink is a sign of mold. If yogurt turns pink as it ferments, you need to discard it and start again. For kraut, if you remove the top leaves and see any sign of mold, you should discard the batch.
- Always use clean, closed, airtight lids and containers such as mason jars when fermenting yogurt and kraut. Keep the lid closed to prevent insects and contaminants from getting in.
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COMPANY%20PROFILE
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Need to know
Unlike other mobile wallets and payment apps, a unique feature of eWallet is that there is no need to have a bank account, credit or debit card to do digital payments.
Customers only need a valid Emirates ID and a working UAE mobile number to register for eWallet account.
KILLING OF QASSEM SULEIMANI
RESULTS
5pm: Maiden (PA) Dh 80,000 (Turf) 1,200m
Winner: AF Majalis, Tadhg O’Shea (jockey), Ernst Oertel (trainer).
5.30pm: Maiden (PA) Dh 80,000 (T) 1,400m
Winner: Sawt Assalam, Szczepan Mazur, Ibrahim Al Hadhrami.
6pm: Maiden (PA) Dh 80,000 (T) 1,400m
Winner: Foah, Fabrice Veron, Eric Lemartinel.
6.30pm: Wathba Stallions Cup Handicap (PA) Dh 70,000 (T) 1,400m
Winner: Faiza, Sandro Paiva, Ali Rashid Al Raihe.
7pm: Handicap (PA) Dh 80,000 (T) 1,600m
Winner: RB Dixie Honor, Antonio Fresu, Helal Al Alawi.
7.30pm: Rated Conditions (TB) Dh 100,000 (T) 1,600m
Winner: Boerhan, Ryan Curatolo, Nicholas Bachalard.
Our legal consultant
Name: Dr Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
COMPANY PROFILE
Initial investment: Undisclosed
Investment stage: Series A
Investors: Core42
Current number of staff: 47
LIVING IN...
This article is part of a guide on where to live in the UAE. Our reporters will profile some of the country’s most desirable districts, provide an estimate of rental prices and introduce you to some of the residents who call each area home.
Director: Laxman Utekar
Cast: Vicky Kaushal, Akshaye Khanna, Diana Penty, Vineet Kumar Singh, Rashmika Mandanna
Rating: 1/5
Under-21 European Championship Final
Germany 1 Spain 0
Weiser (40')
Name: Peter Dicce
Title: Assistant dean of students and director of athletics
Favourite sport: soccer
Favourite team: Bayern Munich
Favourite player: Franz Beckenbauer
Favourite activity in Abu Dhabi: scuba diving in the Northern Emirates
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The specs
Engine: Dual 180kW and 300kW front and rear motors
Power: 480kW
Torque: 850Nm
Transmission: Single-speed automatic
Price: From Dh359,900 ($98,000)
On sale: Now
What can you do?
Document everything immediately; including dates, times, locations and witnesses
Seek professional advice from a legal expert
You can report an incident to HR or an immediate supervisor
You can use the Ministry of Human Resources and Emiratisation’s dedicated hotline
In criminal cases, you can contact the police for additional support
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About Seez
Company name/date started: Seez, set up in September 2015 and the app was released in August 2017
Founder/CEO name(s): Tarek Kabrit, co-founder and chief executive, and Andrew Kabrit, co-founder and chief operating officer
Based in: Dubai, with operations also in Kuwait, Saudi Arabia and Lebanon
Sector: Search engine for car buying, selling and leasing
Size: (employees/revenue): 11; undisclosed
Stage of funding: $1.8 million in seed funding; followed by another $1.5m bridge round - in the process of closing Series A
Investors: Wamda Capital, B&Y and Phoenician Funds
The biog
Favourite colour: Brown
Favourite Movie: Resident Evil
Hobbies: Painting, Cooking, Imitating Voices
Favourite food: Pizza
Trivia: Was the voice of three characters in the Emirati animation, Shaabiyat Al Cartoon
if you go
The flights
Fly direct to Kutaisi with Flydubai from Dh925 return, including taxes. The flight takes 3.5 hours. From there, Svaneti is a four-hour drive. The driving time from Tbilisi is eight hours.
The trip
The cost of the Svaneti trip is US$2,000 (Dh7,345) for 10 days, including food, guiding, accommodation and transfers from and to Tbilisi or Kutaisi. This summer the TCT is also offering a 5-day hike in Armenia for $1,200 (Dh4,407) per person. For further information, visit www.transcaucasiantrail.org/en/hike/
Day 2, Abu Dhabi Test: At a glance
Moment of the day Dinesh Chandimal has inherited a challenging job, after being made Sri Lanka’s Test captain. He responded in perfect fashion, with an easy-natured century against Pakistan. He brought up three figures with a majestic cover drive, which he just stood and admired.
Stat of the day – 33 It took 33 balls for Dilruwan Perera to get off the mark. His time on zero was eventful enough. The Sri Lankan No 7 was given out LBW twice, but managed to have both decisions overturned on review. The TV replays showed both times that he had inside edged the ball onto his pad.
The verdict In the two previous times these two sides have met in Abu Dhabi, the Tests have been drawn. The docile nature of proceedings so far makes that the likely outcome again this time, but both sides will be harbouring thoughts that they can force their way into a winning position.
BlacKkKlansman
Director: Spike Lee
Starring: John David Washington; Adam Driver
Five stars
MATCH INFO
Liverpool 4 (Salah (pen 4, 33', & pen 88', Van Dijk (20')
Leeds United 3 (Harrison 12', Bamford 30', Klich 66')
Man of the match Mohamed Salah (Liverpool)
Fitness problems in men's tennis
Andy Murray - hip
Novak Djokovic - elbow
Roger Federer - back
Stan Wawrinka - knee
Kei Nishikori - wrist
Marin Cilic - adductor
The Brutalist
Director: Brady Corbet
Stars: Adrien Brody, Felicity Jones, Guy Pearce, Joe Alwyn
Rating: 3.5/5
SPECS
Mini John Cooper Works Clubman and Mini John Cooper Works Countryman
Engine: two-litre 4-cylinder turbo
Transmission: nine-speed automatic
Power: 306hp
Torque: 450Nm
Price: JCW Clubman, Dh220,500; JCW Countryman, Dh225,500
The specs: 2017 Dodge Viper SRT
Price, base / as tested Dh460,000
Engine 8.4L V10
Transmission Six-speed manual
Power 645hp @ 6,200rpm
Torque 813Nm @ 5,000rpm
Fuel economy, combined 16.8L / 100km
Find the right policy for you
Don’t wait until the week you fly to sign up for insurance – get it when you book your trip. Insurance covers you for cancellation and anything else that can go wrong before you leave.
Some insurers, such as World Nomads, allow you to book once you are travelling – but, as Mr Mohammed found out, pre-existing medical conditions are not covered.
Check your credit card before booking insurance to see if you have any travel insurance as a benefit – most UAE banks, such as Emirates NBD, First Abu Dhabi Bank and Abu Dhabi Islamic Bank, have cards that throw in insurance as part of their package. But read the fine print – they may only cover emergencies while you’re travelling, not cancellation before a trip.
Pre-existing medical conditions such as a heart condition, diabetes, epilepsy and even asthma may not be included as standard. Again, check the terms, exclusions and limitations of any insurance carefully.
If you want trip cancellation or curtailment, baggage loss or delay covered, you may need a higher-grade plan, says Ambareen Musa of Souqalmal.com. Decide how much coverage you need for emergency medical expenses or personal liability. Premium insurance packages give up to $1 million (Dh3.7m) in each category, Ms Musa adds.
Don’t wait for days to call your insurer if you need to make a claim. You may be required to notify them within 72 hours. Gather together all receipts, emails and reports to prove that you paid for something, that you didn’t use it and that you did not get reimbursed.
Finally, consider optional extras you may need, says Sarah Pickford of Travel Counsellors, such as a winter sports holiday. Also ensure all individuals can travel independently on that cover, she adds. And remember: “Cheap isn’t necessarily best.”
Europe’s rearming plan
- Suspend strict budget rules to allow member countries to step up defence spending
- Create new "instrument" providing €150 billion of loans to member countries for defence investment
- Use the existing EU budget to direct more funds towards defence-related investment
- Engage the bloc's European Investment Bank to drop limits on lending to defence firms
- Create a savings and investments union to help companies access capital
The Word for Woman is Wilderness
Abi Andrews, Serpent’s Tail