It is so much more fun making New Year's resolutions as a couple than it is alone. All my life, the expectation that a new year will be a chance to make drastic changes that will miraculously improve my life has been the bane of my existence.
When every resolution I have vowed to abide by has inevitably been forgotten or broken by midday on January 2, the resulting guilt is too depressing. I spend the next four to five months trying to launch the Get My Life in Order plan. The diet will start tomorrow, really, I'll do it; binge-eat for one more evening and that's it. Or this is the last pair of shoes, really, at least for this month, that's it, no more mall runs, no more credit-card swipes. Or this is the last time I use butter in cooking, truly, definitely, I won't even walk down that aisle in the supermarket, and I really will crack open the healthier cooking cookbook.
And of course, that fortune I spent on the gym membership? It will be worth it, I'm sure, I am heading there tomorrow, right after I buy that pair of trainers that I definitely need in order to be safe on a treadmill.
Resolutions suck. They are just one more thing that some evil person created to make you feel bad about yourself, about your procrastinating nature, about your inability to stick to your decisions or to your plans, about your lack of willpower, about your easily distracted nature. Resolutions take all the fun out of the New Year and I vowed to forsake them years ago.
Then along came Mr T, who infuses excitement into even the little things, and making resolutions doesn't seem such a bad idea any more.
"This year, we're going to exercise together," he promised, with such conviction in his tone. "For every movie we watch, we'll match it with at least 45 minutes on the treadmill." The treadmill up on the top floor of our building, in a top-end gym that we have yet to grace with our presence? "Yes," he said.
"This year, we'll travel to all the seven emirates," he decided, in yet another scatterbrained plan to get us off our trusty couch. "We'll go on a desert safari, and snorkel in Fujairah, and barbecue on Jebel Hafeet." Why would I argue with such fun plans?
This is the year we'll get our lives in order and come up with some sort of a five-year plan, and get started on all those things we want to do, all those dreams we want to turn into a reality. "This is our year" was the resounding finale of his impassioned speech.
"Have you ever made resolutions before?" I asked.
"No, not really, but things are different now." He had no idea what was in store.
I went along with his lofty plans, secretly relieved that once every resolution was inevitably broken and shoved aside to fall into the gutter, the guilt would at least be shared this time around.
Plus, I now have someone to blame for all the resolutions gone awry. Truly, the advantages to this marriage thing just keep on revealing themselves.
Electoral College Victory
Trump has so far secured 295 Electoral College votes, according to the Associated Press, exceeding the 270 needed to win. Only Nevada and Arizona remain to be called, and both swing states are leaning Republican. Trump swept all five remaining swing states, North Carolina, Georgia, Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin, sealing his path to victory and giving him a strong mandate.
Popular Vote Tally
The count is ongoing, but Trump currently leads with nearly 51 per cent of the popular vote to Harris’s 47.6 per cent. Trump has over 72.2 million votes, while Harris trails with approximately 67.4 million.
If you go
Where to stay: Courtyard by Marriott Titusville Kennedy Space Centre has unparalleled views of the Indian River. Alligators can be spotted from hotel room balconies, as can several rocket launch sites. The hotel also boasts cool space-themed decor.
When to go: Florida is best experienced during the winter months, from November to May, before the humidity kicks in.
How to get there: Emirates currently flies from Dubai to Orlando five times a week.
RACE CARD
6.30pm: Al Maktoum Challenge Round-3 – Group 1 (PA) $65,000 (Dirt) 2,000m
7.05pm: Handicap (TB) $65,000 (Turf) 1,800m
7.40pm: Meydan Classic – Listed (TB) $88,000 (T) 1,600m
8.15pm: Nad Al Sheba Trophy – Group 3 (TB) $195,000 (T) 2,810m
8.50pm: Dubai Millennium Stakes – Group 3 (TB) $130,000 (T) 2,000m
9.25pm: Meydan Challenge – Listed Handicap (TB) $88,000 (T) 1,400m
MATCH RESULT
Liverpool 4 Brighton and Hove Albion 0
Liverpool: Salah (26'), Lovren (40'), Solanke (53'), Robertson (85')
The alternatives
• Founded in 2014, Telr is a payment aggregator and gateway with an office in Silicon Oasis. It’s e-commerce entry plan costs Dh349 monthly (plus VAT). QR codes direct customers to an online payment page and merchants can generate payments through messaging apps.
• Business Bay’s Pallapay claims 40,000-plus active merchants who can invoice customers and receive payment by card. Fees range from 1.99 per cent plus Dh1 per transaction depending on payment method and location, such as online or via UAE mobile.
• Tap started in May 2013 in Kuwait, allowing Middle East businesses to bill, accept, receive and make payments online “easier, faster and smoother” via goSell and goCollect. It supports more than 10,000 merchants. Monthly fees range from US$65-100, plus card charges of 2.75-3.75 per cent and Dh1.2 per sale.
• 2checkout’s “all-in-one payment gateway and merchant account” accepts payments in 200-plus markets for 2.4-3.9 per cent, plus a Dh1.2-Dh1.8 currency conversion charge. The US provider processes online shop and mobile transactions and has 17,000-plus active digital commerce users.
• PayPal is probably the best-known online goods payment method - usually used for eBay purchases - but can be used to receive funds, providing everyone’s signed up. Costs from 2.9 per cent plus Dh1.2 per transaction.