Gentle, kind, attentive and funny, the person sitting in front of me was almost perfect, with many of the characteristics people look for in a life partner. There was just one hitch: this wasn't a potential husband, it was his mother.
She learnt about my favourite dish, remembered a story I had once told, and even found a gift for my cats - not because she likes cats, but because she knew I love them.
All in all, this lady was enough to melt anyone's heart. I fell in love with this potential mother in law.
Then there was the son: arrogant, careless, forgetful, rude, unmotivated and a womaniser. I couldn't stand him, but was forcing myself to be civil for the sake of his parents, who were adorable and amazing.
I was in a dilemma. The mother kept inviting me over for dinners and special occasions, as she still had faith that somehow a miracle would happen and her son and I would grow compatible. Fat chance, especially as he disliked me as much as I disliked him, if not more.
It wasn't just the mother who was amazing. The father was a manly man, funny and confident. I usually get along with older people, and spend a lot of time with the older generation when I'm writing feature stories about history or heritage. So it wasn't surprising that I could sit for hours with these parents, and enjoy every second.
What happened? How can the son be so different? Perhaps if we give it time, we all eventually become a bit like our parents. There must be some truth to the saying that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
I couldn't believe this sweet humble woman had raised a man so conceited, and with a cruel streak that shows up even with his mother. She would try to talk to him and he would cut her off or ignore her and start talking on his smart phone in the middle of a conversation.
One thing I noticed is that I didn't hear her telling her son the whole "habibi, there is no one like you, you are God's gift to women", the kind of talk that so many other mothers are known to offer.
Some mothers I have seen and heard tell their sons that they do deserve the best and should look for a quiet, gentle, angelic blonde Barbie (a phenomenon I wrote about last week) and that all other women are not worthy of marriage.
"You can go out with whoever you want, just don't marry them. I will find you the perfect wife," a friend's mother actually told him during a family lunch.
Interestingly enough, the mothers who insist on this perfect Barbie for their sons are often not Barbies themselves. So what happened there? They found men who married them, and some even found Ken-like men, when they themselves were and are in no way comparable to Barbie.
People don't realise the harm it causes in relationships when one of the partners believes he or she is the most amazing thing on earth, and so ends up mistreating or taking for granted a partner who may deserve much better.
I have seen what a mission hunting for a wife or husband becomes for certain parents, that it is almost brutal and along the way many people have their hearts broken or their pride hurt. But then again, it works for some people: I know of many happy marriages that came about through the efforts of a picky mother and an even pickier son. It can also happen that the young woman is a daddy's girl and he is adamant about a certain list of expectations and demands. Then again, why not? Perhaps more parents should be involved in their children's marriage decisions as they offer a certain kind of protection from heartache and disappointments when one searches on their own. Parents can serve as a kind of buffer.
Whatever the case, I felt sad when I had to "break up" with the parents of that arrogant son, which happened because it was getting complicated: I was growing too attached to them.
It was obvious to everyone involved why this had to happen. I found myself saying a new version of an old cliché: "It is not you. It is your son."
Rghazal@thenational.ae
On Twitter: @arabianmau
World Cup warm-up fixtures
Friday, May 24:
- Pakistan v Afghanistan (Bristol)
- Sri Lanka v South Africa (Cardiff)
Saturday, May 25
- England v Australia (Southampton)
- India v New Zealand (The Oval, London)
Sunday, May 26
- South Africa v West Indies (Bristol)
- Pakistan v Bangladesh (Cardiff)
Monday, May 27
- Australia v Sri Lanka (Southampton)
- England v Afghanistan (The Oval, London)
Tuesday, May 28
- West Indies v New Zealand (Bristol)
- Bangladesh v India (Cardiff)
BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE
Starring: Winona Ryder, Michael Keaton, Jenny Ortega
Director: Tim Burton
Rating: 3/5
How to wear a kandura
Dos
- Wear the right fabric for the right season and occasion
- Always ask for the dress code if you don’t know
- Wear a white kandura, white ghutra / shemagh (headwear) and black shoes for work
- Wear 100 per cent cotton under the kandura as most fabrics are polyester
Don’ts
- Wear hamdania for work, always wear a ghutra and agal
- Buy a kandura only based on how it feels; ask questions about the fabric and understand what you are buying
COMPANY PROFILE
Founders: Alhaan Ahmed, Alyina Ahmed and Maximo Tettamanzi
Total funding: Self funded
A meeting of young minds
The 3,494 entries for the 2019 Sharjah Children Biennial come from:
435 – UAE
2,000 – China
808 – United Kingdom
165 – Argentina
38 – Lebanon
16 – Saudi Arabia
16 – Bangladesh
6 – Ireland
3 – Egypt
3 – France
2 – Sudan
1 – Kuwait
1 – Australia
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The Buckingham Murders
Starring: Kareena Kapoor Khan, Ash Tandon, Prabhleen Sandhu
Director: Hansal Mehta
Rating: 4 / 5
The specs
Engine: 2.0-litre 4-cylinder turbo hybrid
Transmission: eight-speed automatic
Power: 390bhp
Torque: 400Nm
Price: Dh340,000 ($92,579
TO ALL THE BOYS: ALWAYS AND FOREVER
Directed by: Michael Fimognari
Starring: Lana Condor and Noah Centineo
Two stars
The Penguin
Starring: Colin Farrell, Cristin Milioti, Rhenzy Feliz
Creator: Lauren LeFranc
Rating: 4/5
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Xpanceo
Started: 2018
Founders: Roman Axelrod, Valentyn Volkov
Based: Dubai, UAE
Industry: Smart contact lenses, augmented/virtual reality
Funding: $40 million
Investor: Opportunity Venture (Asia)
if you go
The flights
The closest international airport to the TMB trail is Geneva (just over an hour’s drive from the French ski town of Chamonix where most people start and end the walk). Direct flights from the UAE to Geneva are available with Etihad and Emirates from about Dh2,790 including taxes.
The trek
The Tour du Mont Blanc takes about 10 to 14 days to complete if walked in its entirety, but by using the services of a tour operator such as Raw Travel, a shorter “highlights” version allows you to complete the best of the route in a week, from Dh6,750 per person. The trails are blocked by snow from about late October to early May. Most people walk in July and August, but be warned that trails are often uncomfortably busy at this time and it can be very hot. The prime months are June and September.
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Israel Palestine on Swedish TV 1958-1989
Director: Goran Hugo Olsson
Rating: 5/5
ROUTE%20TO%20TITLE
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The Perfect Couple
Starring: Nicole Kidman, Liev Schreiber, Jack Reynor
Creator: Jenna Lamia
Rating: 3/5
Leading all-time NBA scorers
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar 38,387
Karl Malone 36,928
Kobe Bryant 33,643
Michael Jordan 32,292
LeBron James 31,425
Wilt Chamberlain 31,419
JAPANESE GRAND PRIX INFO
Schedule (All times UAE)
First practice: Friday, 5-6.30am
Second practice: Friday, 9-10.30am
Third practice: Saturday, 7-8am
Qualifying: Saturday, 10-11am
Race: Sunday, 9am-midday
Race venue: Suzuka International Racing Course
Circuit Length: 5.807km
Number of Laps: 53
Watch live: beIN Sports HD
GOLF’S RAHMBO
- 5 wins in 22 months as pro
- Three wins in past 10 starts
- 45 pro starts worldwide: 5 wins, 17 top 5s
- Ranked 551th in world on debut, now No 4 (was No 2 earlier this year)
- 5th player in last 30 years to win 3 European Tour and 2 PGA Tour titles before age 24 (Woods, Garcia, McIlroy, Spieth)
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Killing of Qassem Suleimani