He might have just captained Manchester City to one of the most dramatic Premier League triumphs ever, but Vincent Kompany clearly knows on which side his bread is buttered.
"It was one of the best moments of my life," Kompany said of his team's logic-defying, last-gasp win on Sunday, before adding, with a barely concealed chuckle, an obligatory "together with the birth of my child and together with my wedding day".
The men and women of the press corps laughed knowingly. I suspect that they thought, just as I did, that Kompany was lying. Far be it from me to doubt his love for his family, but Kompany's words seemed born out of duty more than real feeling.
It is hard to see how anyone in attendance at Etihad Stadium who witnessed the "miracle at Manchester" on Sunday, as Kompany himself called it, would not consider it to be the greatest day of their lives.
Logically, of course, there is no acceptable explanation for that. It's just 22 players kicking a round ball, the cynics would say. A modern day opiate for the masses. Bread and circuses. Is this real happiness, or merely an illusion of it?
This is best answered with another question: does it matter?
"The goal towards which the pleasure principle impels us - of becoming happy - is not attainable," Sigmund Freud said of the pursuit of happiness. "Yet we may not - nay, cannot - give up the efforts to come nearer to realisation of it by some means or other." So, that's escapism, Sigmund.
Except it's so much more than that. The joy, and let's not forget, misery, that football brings to millions is far closer to spiritualism than escapist entertainment. Enjoying The Avengersis one thing; what City fans, and Kompany, experienced is quite another. Happiness, that day, was very much "attainable".
In his era-defining book about football obsession, Fever Pitch, the usually erudite Nick Hornby struggled in vain to articulate what Arsenal's dramatic league championship win at Anfield in 1989 - the game most closely resembling City's on Sunday - felt like.
He gave up, saying there was no analogy good enough for the euphoria felt after that last-minute winner. No memorable concerts, no personal awards or promotions, not even winning the pools. And of course, not even that old standard: the new baby.
"Childbirth must be extraordinarily moving, but it doesn't have that crucial surprise element," Hornby said, adding: "What else is there that can possibly provide the suddenness?" And there, in a nutshell, lies the glory of sports. Suddenness.
"The Rumble in the Jungle" as Muhammad Ali knocked out George Foreman in Zaire, 1974. "The Miracle on Ice" at the 1980 Winter Olympics, when the amateurs of the US beat the mighty Soviets in Lake Placid. And the Red Sox beating the New York Yankees in seven games to banish the "Curse of the Bambino" on their way to winning their first World Series for 86 years in 2004. All against the odds. All so very sudden.
These City fans had waited 44 years, their comically underachieving club forever in the shadow of absurdly successful and, one would assume, insufferable rivals. If there was a competition for messing up, City would have messed up their application form. There was even a name for it: "Cityitis". In retrospect, it could only be cured the way it was on Sunday; despair before ultimate, sudden redemption.
For United fans, now, the trauma. The sort of trauma their team has inflicted on supporters of other clubs for the last two decades. They'll handle it of course, for they have their own stories, their own miracles. One friend who was lucky enough to be at the fabled 1999 Champions League final win over Bayern Munich once told me that it was the best night of his life.
"This stays between us, but it was better than the birth of my child." Ah, a bit of self-awareness at last. And from a Manchester United fan no less.
It's not right. It just is.
akhaled@thenational.ae
On Twitter: AliKhaled_
Straightforward ways to reduce sugar in your family's diet
- Ban fruit juice and sodas
- Eat a hearty breakfast that contains fats and wholegrains, such as peanut butter on multigrain toast or full-fat plain yoghurt with whole fruit and nuts, to avoid the need for a 10am snack
- Give young children plain yoghurt with whole fruits mashed into it
- Reduce the number of cakes, biscuits and sweets. Reserve them for a treat
- Don’t eat dessert every day
- Make your own smoothies. Always use the whole fruit to maintain the benefit of its fibre content and don’t add any sweeteners
- Always go for natural whole foods over processed, packaged foods. Ask yourself would your grandmother have eaten it?
- Read food labels if you really do feel the need to buy processed food
- Eat everything in moderation
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Jawan
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Electric scooters: some rules to remember
- Riders must be 14-years-old or over
- Wear a protective helmet
- Park the electric scooter in designated parking lots (if any)
- Do not leave electric scooter in locations that obstruct traffic or pedestrians
- Solo riders only, no passengers allowed
- Do not drive outside designated lanes
MEDIEVIL%20(1998)
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Fixtures:
Thursday:
Hatta v Al Jazira, 4.55pm
Al Wasl v Dibba, 7.45pm
Friday:
Al Dhafra v Al Nasr, 5.05pm
Shabab Al Ahli Dubai v Al Wahda, 7.45pm
Saturday:
Ajman v Emirates, 4.55pm
Al Ain v Sharjah, 7.45pm
SPEC%20SHEET%3A%20SAMSUNG%20GALAXY%20Z%20FOLD5
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Company%20Profile
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The Perfect Couple
Starring: Nicole Kidman, Liev Schreiber, Jack Reynor
Creator: Jenna Lamia
Rating: 3/5
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Men's football draw
Group A: UAE, Spain, South Africa, Jamaica
Group B: Bangladesh, Serbia, Korea
Group C: Bharat, Denmark, Kenya, USA
Group D: Oman, Austria, Rwanda
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
How to protect yourself when air quality drops
Install an air filter in your home.
Close your windows and turn on the AC.
Shower or bath after being outside.
Wear a face mask.
Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.
If driving, turn your engine off when stationary.
Bahrain%20GP
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Israel Palestine on Swedish TV 1958-1989
Director: Goran Hugo Olsson
Rating: 5/5
BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE
Starring: Winona Ryder, Michael Keaton, Jenny Ortega
Director: Tim Burton
Rating: 3/5
How Islam's view of posthumous transplant surgery changed
Transplants from the deceased have been carried out in hospitals across the globe for decades, but in some countries in the Middle East, including the UAE, the practise was banned until relatively recently.
Opinion has been divided as to whether organ donations from a deceased person is permissible in Islam.
The body is viewed as sacred, during and after death, thus prohibiting cremation and tattoos.
One school of thought viewed the removal of organs after death as equally impermissible.
That view has largely changed, and among scholars and indeed many in society, to be seen as permissible to save another life.
The specs
Engine: 3.0-litre twin-turbo flat-six
Power: 480hp at 6,500rpm
Torque: 570Nm from 2,300-5,000rpm
Transmission: 8-speed dual-clutch auto
Fuel consumption: 10.4L/100km
Price: from Dh547,600
On sale: now